Healthy or Unhealthy Sex Life?

Not only that but I went to a going away party with a whole bunch of my friends and my husband was there. We were all joking around at the table, having a few laughs and one of his friends joked around about how my husband had spent a night in the same bed with his good friend when they were on a trip to San Fransisco and how must be a desperate man to have done so. He goes... "well...yeah...." and motions over to me as if saying "well of course I am desperate...look what I have to have sex with." I laughed it off even though it kinda hurt my feelings. When I confronted him when we were alone I told him that what he said wasn't very nice and he should appologize to me. He told me that he didn't need to apologize because what he said was true. I walked away from him and while I was gone, he told ALL of my friends that I only have sex with him 3 TIMES A MONTH!!!!!!

Kitkat....... I remember your other posts. Your husband is the one that pretty much thinks women are trash. That they belong at the feet of men as little slaves. He has shown no respect for you up to now......do you honestly think he is gonna change???

More importantly.....how much does he have to do to you before you wake up and smell the roses. There are no easy answers for you. I suggest you get counseling for yourself.

And then.....

Go find yourself a REAL man. :wink:

Kitkat--

From the Kinsey Institute, a research organization that knows considerably more than your husband does:




Note: This does not say "what works for him--your wishes and desires are equally important--or would be if you were in a "normal" relationship."


http://www.usaweekend.com/03_issues/031109/031109sex_kinsey.html


JABB has made an excellent point about your husband's need to demean and to control.

Poor guy--he doesn't get enough sex; he lies about how much sex he getting and he puts you down in public so you'll feel....feel what? Sexy? Romantic?

Counselling for yourself is an excellent idea. Head for sanity.

God if this guy put me down like that in public I would have poured my wine is his lap and left him there to laugh it up with his cronies.

Anybody listen to Howard Stern in the morning?? "Waaaah, I'm not getting enough sex and I have to resort to mocking my wife about it in public so I look like a sex-starved man, waaaah-- feel bad for me!!!"

Waah nothing. Grow the hell up. 3 times in a week is good, if you asked me. He's just selfish and obviously NOT considering your feelings one iota. But you're supposed to bow down and consider his?? Doesn't this make you mad?

Do you see the problem here? The problem isn't YOU-- it's the relationship in itself and it will continue to drain you of your remaining lifeforce until you figure out you've had enough of being treated like crapola and that you deserve better.

Bottom line::: He'll find another chick to take care of his every whim. You will find another man who will think you're divinely inspired.

and yes-- counseling is great. i am an advocate for that. you should really check it out--- you don't have to be rich to get it either-- there are places with sliding scales.

I believe I'm available on Wednesday between 7-9pm.

kitkat--

If you stay with a guy who talks to you like that--and about you like that--

1) You share the guilt for the sick **** that's going on in that marriage.
2) Your self-esteem is going to plummet to depths it may not recover from.
3) You WILL (not may) teach your sons to abuse women and your daughters to expect and tolerate it.

Nobody should put up with that.

If you aren't strong enough to leave, for God's sake, don't have any children.

Having a man isn't always better than being alone. In your case it's not.

Get some self-respect and kick that **** to the curb.

First off, I have always hated metrics when it comes to a sex life on a weekly basis. Just do it when it's mutally natural in the flow of your lives. It irks me when people schedule in two "sessions" on Friday night just to meet a weekly quota. Things become so routine, and unexciting.

Having said that, that was a rant in general, I know you were just trying to illustrate your point.

Back to the relationship. You should confront your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. I know guys say things to impress other guys, and will continue until he realizes how terrible it is. We are oblivious and communication should be your first bet. However, judging from some of the other posts, it sounds like a cycle of treatment?

Reading your previous posts, this guy really doesn't treat you well at all. What is it that you get out of this relationship? I mean, can you write down the good and the bad, and see which list is longer or more important to you?

You weren't, by any chance, abused as a child, were you? BC that might explain why you'd put up with this sort of behavior.

If you leave him, you know, that doesn't mean you're destined to be alone forever. There are plenty of nice guys out there, really. At least, way nicer than this one.

I think I'd be Really Mad if my husband started quoting percentages when it came to sex!

I agree... no real man would settle for sex only three times a week.....

oooooooooooooooooooooh.

oooooooooooooooooooooh.

oooooooooooooooooooooh.

oooooooooooooooooooooh.

PBP--

Your amorous logic gives liberated women weak knees, migraines and double nightcaps.

You have talent.