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Mon 27 Dec, 2004 02:37 pm
My girl friend broke up with me after we were together for two years. When I first met her she had just gotten out of a abusive relationship. I was the hand that reached out to her when she was drowning, that guy messed her up emotionally so bad. I helped her aid her emotional wounds and gave her positive support. After a couple of months dating we became a couple, it was great our relationship was immaculate, we had trust and respect and everything that made a relationship perfect. There was one thing that I saw that bothered her a little, I was 10 years younger than she and she had a college degree and I still had a year and a half left to graduate college. Although I do have a decent job as a legal assistant and with both her and my salaries combined would live a comfortable life. One day she called me and just told me that she was not happy and wanted to explore different avenues. This broke me in two because I had poured my mind, body and soul into this woman. I supported her in every way opened my self to her completely, I payed for her ex-boyfriends sins when ever she would get depressed. She told me that she did not know what she wanted and did not know if she would ever be happy. Shortly after, I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt. She told me that she was sorry that she hurt me and that she was not happy she did not want to wait to start a life. She also said was so confused she did not know if she had feelings for her ex or what she wanted. Recently, she called me to see how I was doing, she sounded as if she had something on her mind, to make a long story short let's just say that I ended up giving her dating advise. That sucks huh? I called her to wish her a merry x-mas and left a voice mail on her phone, I still have not gotten a call back wishing me the same. I am so mad at her, I miss her, I still love her. I never did anything to her but love her and support her, I feel like a ship that has been left out at sea with no guiding lite to gide me home. I don't know what to do.
Jason, you were the "transitional male."
People coming out of bad relationships often cling to the first supportive person they find in order to help them over the trauma. It's not a lasting relationship...it's just what they need temporarily in order to heal. Unless you're a masochistic person who just loves being a "rescuer," I'd advise you to avoid becoming involved with people who have recently ended serious relationships. Especially abusive relationships.
Meanwhile, consider yourself a "good guy" for helping her through a difficult time. And be careful to choose a more well-adjusted partner the next time.
(((( Jason ))))
I agree with the comments from Eva and Phoenix.
A person can not truely love ........until they learn to love their own self first. Unfortunately women coming out of an abusive relationship have to fight their way back to reality. It's a hard road. And it's a long one. Looking in the mirror and loving what they see is extremely difficult.
You say you feel like a ship left out to sea with no guiding light to help you find your way home. I know that is painful. If this relationship has ended, there is a bright light to help you home, Jason. It's within your own self. That guiding light is all the gentleness that you softly laid upon this woman. For without that.........she might, herself, be a ship that floats endlessly in the darkness of her own waters. Never coming back to shore.
Jason, I am sure that your love has been a saving grace to her. If you must walk away....let your light be the knowledge of this. For without you it is hard to say how things might have turned out for her. They say it is better to have loved and lost.......than never to have loved at all. In this case that saying holds an especially deep meaning.
I agree with all of the above responses. Losing at love is a life lesson that is be learned early. Hopefully you will grow and find new inspiration with this loss.
I have always found forgiveness is the way to healing emotional pain.
Help I can't get over my ex
Thank you all for your helpful advise, it is the best advise that I have heard. It is so good to hear women point of views in my situation. I was speaking to one of my buddies over a couple of pints of ale last night and needless to say his advise was not anywhere near as good as the advise that you all have given me. I have come to the conclusion that well, it's over and at least I was able to help her in a difficult time in her life. At least I was able to help her find herself again. I have to pick up and move on, this is not the first difficult situation that I have gone through in life, and I'm more than positive that it won't be the last. Life is full of obsticals and bumps on the road, it makes no sense to sit around and feel sad. Justa_babbling_brooke thanks for the boost of confidence and making me remember who I am and everything that I stand for ethically in life. your exactly right; it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. The quote hit it right on the money thanks.
Jason, Best wishes......
You sound like a wonderful man.....
turn this kind of thing into a positive...find a flurry of rebound girls and get the grudge sex...it's the very best kind and a girl on the rebound will do all the nasty things with you she wouldn't do with her ex just for some sort of personal revenge....use this....embrace it....your life will be full....
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:turn this kind of thing into a positive...find a flurry of rebound girls and get the grudge sex...it's the very best kind and a girl on the rebound will do all the nasty things with you she wouldn't do with her ex
No we won't. When we want revenge we just reel you in and make you THINK we will do all those things, including but not limited to... the rock-a-thigh baby position.
And
then we weave our web around you like a black widow spider and suck all yer blood out. Spit you out. Then go get the next one.
justa_babbling_brooke wrote:Bi-Polar Bear wrote:turn this kind of thing into a positive...find a flurry of rebound girls and get the grudge sex...it's the very best kind and a girl on the rebound will do all the nasty things with you she wouldn't do with her ex
No we won't. When we want revenge we just reel you in and make you THINK we will do all those things, including but not limited to... the rock-a-thigh baby position.
And
then we weave our web around you like a black widow spider and suck all yer blood out. Spit you out. Then go get the next one.
don't listen to that..... they'll do anything including but not limited to the Chicago hot plate.....
Re: Help I can't get over my ex
Jason 2781 wrote: Justa_babbling_brooke thanks for the boost of confidence and making me remember who I am and everything that I stand for ethically in life. your exactly right; it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all. The quote hit it right on the money thanks.
Jason
Glad to help. But ya know, if
I a complete stranger can see the goodness inside of you from just one forum post.....think of what is waiting for you out there when you decide you are ready for another relationship. Regardless of what you have heard.........there are some girls that truely appreciate a nice guy!
Keep us posted...........and now that you have joined Y2K...don't be a stranger.
Bi-Polar Bear wrote:
don't listen to that..... they'll do anything including but not limited to the Chicago hot plate.....
Chicago hot plate??? I don't know what this is, bear!
Guess I'll have to sign up for Bears sex class 101.
honey sex 101 is for beginners my class is advanced 104....
Help I can't get over my ex
Well, sex has never been a problem for me to get. Thanks for the advise, but unfortunately been there done that Bi- Polar. In my experience in having sex and one night stands with rebound/revenge girls is that, they WILL do all sorts of nasty things. My buddies tell me the same thing everyday F*%#@ them and leave them, is what they tell me. Although, after a while all that sex becomes meaningless to you and you start to not like who you are and what you stand for in life. I did not find what I was looking for there. But, I do agree with brooke. Women can be a bit brutal and will not think twice about busting someones balls if they have to. Underneath it all women are like men just in better packages hee hee. I read a issue of Cosmo Confessions once and that backs my theory up lol. Brooke, rock-a-thigh baby position? Never heard of that one lol.
Hey brook, like that little flashing Icon quite comical lol
Re: Help I can't get over my ex
Jason 2781 wrote: Brooke, rock-a-thigh baby position? Never heard of that one lol.
Just picture a rocking chair....woman on top ...with MANY variables to the way she positions herself on top of him.
hehe
Jason 2781 wrote:Although, after a while all that sex becomes meaningless to you and you start to not like who you are and what you stand for in life.
It's amazing, how something that feels so good can leave you feeling so lonely sometimes.
Jason 2781 wrote:Women can be a bit brutal and will not think twice about busting someones balls if they have to. Underneath it all women are like men just in better packages hee hee
Men have taught us well!
Help I can't get over my ex
OH! The save a horse ride a cowboy position, got ya lol.
I am somewhat over my ex but it still hurts
Jason 2781 wrote:My girl friend broke up with me after we were together for two years. When I first met her she had just gotten out of a abusive relationship. I was the hand that reached out to her when she was drowning, that guy messed her up emotionally so bad. I helped her aid her emotional wounds and gave her positive support. After a couple of months dating we became a couple, it was great our relationship was immaculate, we had trust and respect and everything that made a relationship perfect. There was one thing that I saw that bothered her a little, I was 10 years younger than she and she had a college degree and I still had a year and a half left to graduate college. Although I do have a decent job as a legal assistant and with both her and my salaries combined would live a comfortable life. One day she called me and just told me that she was not happy and wanted to explore different avenues. This broke me in two because I had poured my mind, body and soul into this woman. I supported her in every way opened my self to her completely, I payed for her ex-boyfriends sins when ever she would get depressed. She told me that she did not know what she wanted and did not know if she would ever be happy. Shortly after, I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt. She told me that she was sorry that she hurt me and that she was not happy she did not want to wait to start a life. She also said was so confused she did not know if she had feelings for her ex or what she wanted. Recently, she called me to see how I was doing, she sounded as if she had something on her mind, to make a long story short let's just say that I ended up giving her dating advise. That sucks huh? I called her to wish her a merry x-mas and left a voice mail on her phone, I still have not gotten a call back wishing me the same. I am so mad at her, I miss her, I still love her. I never did anything to her but love her and support her, I feel like a ship that has been left out at sea with no guiding lite to gide me home. I don't know what to do.
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