Reply
Sun 26 Dec, 2004 08:06 am
Please edit it:
After Miss Jiang was rescued, policemen in the Sub-Station and the county Public Security Bureau actively donated more than 600 yuan to her so that she had money to go home. At the same time, to prevent accident from happening, Mengcheng police drove Miss Jiang to Fuyang Railway Station. (Victim's name is just an alias in the article. Wang Wanghong contributed reporting for it.)
A couple of minor changes:
After Miss Jiang was rescued, policemen in the sub-station and the county Public Security Bureau donated more than 600 yuan to her so that she had enough money to return home. At the same time, to prevent further accidents from happening, Mengcheng police drove Miss Jiang to Fuyang Railway Station. (Victim's name is just an alias in the article. Wang Wanghong contributed reporting for it.)
I dislike the phrase "further accidents" -- it's as if Miss Jiang's kidnapping was an "accident;" surely not the case. I'd say "further trouble" or "To provide Miss Jiang with further security, Mengchech police provided her with a ride to Fuyang Railway Station."
The standard form for the name disclaimer in the U.S. seems to be an asterisk by the victim's name upon its first appearance, with the asterisk explanation reading, "*Victim's name has been changed to protect her privacy."
And, also seemingly standard in the U.S., "Reporter Wang Wanghong contributed to this story."
No real difference in what you said, just common statements used in these situations.
Thank Bermbits and Wy for editing.
Wy, really your reediting is better. I also thank you for those remindings.