@CRAZY77,
She's using you.
She's making you her therapist, her confessor, and her punching bag.
When you're around, she doesn't 'have to' go to therapy, so she doesn't. She doesn't 'have to' try to be affectionate or reasonable, so she doesn't. She doesn't 'have to' be rational, logical, normal, or kind.
So she doesn't.
Time's a-wastin'.
Tick tock. You can put yourself through hell during the prime parts of the one life you are given, or you can take some responsibility for your own existence and happiness and do what you should have done over a year ago - tell her it's over, block her from all forms of communication, ignore her if she confronts you in person (or even call the cops if violence is imminent), and live your life without her.
You're already questioning things, and that's good. You can break free. Yes, you can quit her.
No amount of possible future sweetness and affection erases today's abuse.