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Is it wrong to discuss anything sexual with a friend?

 
 
BMR90
 
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2017 08:29 am
Hi all.

My lady friend who have known for just short of 3 years ended the friendship between us a few days ago because on a few occasions I made a few sexual comments towards her that were not intended to be serious, but she didn't see it that way. She has clearly stated that she only wanted to be friends and we've always joked about stuff but I assumed that a bit of sexual talk would have been a bit of fun rather than the talks being serious all the time.

The 2 "jokes that I said was "can I touch your bum" followed by a lot of laughing emoji s to indicate that I was making a joke to her and I asked if she'd be fine with talking about things like being tied up etc

I remember going on a night out with her and as we were walking together i put my arm around her and she didnt mind...then i rested my hand in her back jeans pocket and she said she didnt really care about that either...but yet making sexual comments was bang out of order? Did I do wrong and take it way too far? Did I 100% deserve it? I am absolutely devastated but I guess I don't deserve her as a friend.

Is there any chance that she might forgive me one day or have I lost her forever? :'(

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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2017 01:20 pm
So much gets lost in a text. This is one of them.

Apologize for texting a tease. Obviously, it wasn't appreciated.
0 Replies
 
tibbleinparadise
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Sep, 2017 07:00 pm
@BMR90,
Every friend is different. Here's my own experience on the topic...

My best friend is female. We pal around a lot and are both "touchers" (probably to outsiders we look like a married couple), but sexual stuff is off limits. It implies something that isn't there and, in an opposite sex friendship, you have to have some pretty rigid boundaries. It works for us because we both recognize those boundaries and would not cross them because the friendship is too valuable.

Your milage may vary!
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BMR90
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2017 09:59 am
I guess I crossed that line for the last time. I've already apologised to her but she said she doesn't want to be friends anymore so apologising anymore is out of the question. I ended the friendship before because I couldn't control my feelings for her and she gave me another chance to be just friends, but I screwed it up again.

Not that I deserve it but I hope she does speak to me again one day. I hadn't seen her in 2 years so you can imagine how much I missed her and wanted to catch up
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 23 Sep, 2017 10:30 am
@BMR90,
Find another "friend" who will move the relationship foward into something you want.

Stop obsessing about something that never was.
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