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Thu 7 Sep, 2017 01:40 pm
I'm contacting you about something that is bothering me. My husband and I have been married for a month plus now. Yet.. before we got married (exactly 12 days) he cheated on me. He met a girl at the gym and he went to her house and they kissed on her bed. This is the short version of the story. The girl lives only 5 min from her house and I run into her frequently. This makes me so angry and the whole saga continues. He did not tell me about his infidelity.
I went through his phone and found out. He didn't tell me, because he knew it would hurt our relationship and because he didn't want anything else from the girl. Atleast that's what he says.
I've spoken to the girl and she told me that my (now husband) then fiancé told her he wanted to keep seeing her and have sex with her
This infidelity happend almost 2 months ago but it has destroyed me
I married him because I love him dearly. And as far as I know. He hasn't cheated on me. I want to get over this horrible event and move on, but my mind won't let me. I'm so obsessed about it. Me not knowing every detail of what happend in that room is what kills me
And every conversation they've had on whatsapp
I've never done anything but love this man. Never cheated even tho I've had a million of chances to do so
I've been supporting us, because he can't work now due to the Dutch system. I don't complain about money to him. I don't ask him for expensive things, I don't push him into doing criminal things to make money
I need help to get over this horrible event. He tells me he loves me and that I'm his queen and that if he didn't want to marry me he wouldn't. And I know him to be someone that doesn't do what he doesn't want
I know I should talk to him, but it makes him angry because he says that we've closed this page and why am I talking about it again
Another reason I forgave him was because they didn't have sex. I know this because I was pretending to be him and spoke to her to find out if they had slept together. What she said confirmed that they didn't have sex
@Iammia,
He doesn't get to decide when the page is closed.
You do. You're the one who's been hurt. You don't magically become whole on his timetable.
I recommend counseling. This is only going to keep eating at you until you two hash this out.
What would you have done if you found out immediately after it happened? Break up? Work it out? Separate briefly?
Two months is not a long time. You can get out of IF you feel that's the only way you can get some peace. But is that what you want?
What do you want him to do so you can get over this? Because right now I bet your home is not a happy place to live.
Counseling is a must for you two.
@PUNKEY,
Thank you. Counseling does seem like a good idea
@jespah,
Thank you so much for your reply. Very supportive and wonderful
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