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Mon 13 Dec, 2004 12:20 am
my girfriend broke up with me about a month ago.....after almost 3 years together.....i am lonely and bored because i neglected the friends i had while she and i were together.... i realize now this was a bad mistake....and i also realize that not having close friends to do things with together as a couple may have contributed to our breakup..... relying solely on your lover for social fullfilment isn't healthy for either person as it puts uneccessary stress on the relationship (trying to decide on what to do on a friday, sat night, every friday, sat night gets old and stressful).....
furthermore, if a breakup happens, which it did, you don't really have anyone (other than family) to rely on for comfort or just something to do.......and it makes getting over your Ex that much harder as now because i am so bored and lonely i just think about her and miss her as a friend to do things with......it's just a all-around bad situation to put yourself in........
so i've learned something through all of this.......
time to call up the old buddies and apologize for being distant.......
problem is most of them are married and some with children..... so it's not like i can go bar hoping or clubbing with them... oh well.....life goes on......
It's a tough pill to swallow, I know new friend. It is very easy to begin to let friendships slide when the object of your desire is right there. Having a life together also means having a life of your own too. Sometimes the only way to know this is to be there, as you are now.
I'm sorry for your loneliness. Us A2Kers are a pretty friendly lot. Come and visit us anytime your heart desires. Can't promise to solve all the world's problems, but we do at least care.
I'll second what Lady J said. I know how you feel, as I've been there myself. If you like doing a little bar hopping, then go by yourself and meet new friends. That's what I did and I made several new friends. I did have a few life long friends that I went to see and hang out with every now and then as well, so I don't think your past friends will write you off simply because you lost touch for a bit and I'd be willing to bet that they understand. In the mean time, Lady J is right in saying that we A2Kers are quite a friendly bunch, so stick around and have a look see. I consider many people here my friends and some of us actually meet in person.
Welcome aboard :-D
Live and learn, AR. That's what it's all about.
WOW --CAN I FEEL YOUR PAIN. My boyfriend and I just broke up 2 months ago and we were together for 3 years also. It is a very hard adjustment. You feel lonely, deserted, betrayed, hurt---don't know I'm just guessing because that's how I feel. This is what I have been doing to occupy my time. I work a lot and go out on the weekends. Most of my friends have kids 2 so it is very hard to find people to hang out with sometimes. I am so sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy. Just remember, your true friends will always be there for you--no matter what. Maybe an apology would be good. I alienated my friends like that also a few years back because of a guy I was dating for 2 1/2 years. I still have the same friends now as I did then. I did what you said you were gonna do--I apologized. My best friend was very hurt and it took her a while to come back around. But now she is my best friend again 10 years later! Time heals wounds, remember that. I still get really upset sometimes but I know that whatever is meant to be will happen! Good luck to you.
Yep yep yep, been there done that. Great advice, sorry it was so hard-earned. Best of luck, AR_MAN.
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