More in America Putting Off Marriage

Getting married later is definitely an advantage for these
young people. When think back how inmature I was with
20 and how my life had changed when I was 27 years old,
it reassures my way of thinking.

These are the years to work on a decent education and build
a career, that is so important in today's world for both sexes.

I've met couples who got married with 20, had children soon
thereafter and played house. Over the years the relationship,
the marriage changed, they themselves changed and they
were unhappy in the marriage, divorce was inevitable.

With the divorce came the economic downfalls. Without proper education, no job experience to show for, the women
had to get whatever job was available to them, and unfortunately there were only low paying opportunities out
there.

For the men, things looked somewhat better in the job department, but child support cut their income to the bare
essentials, and they struggled.

Sure they can get remarried, but until then, their lives is
a hard one and they struggle economically.

If they get married after they finished their education and already
started with their career, they at least have something to fall back on, when the marriage doesn't work out, and if one looks at the statistics, one
has to be realistic about marriage and divorce.

I got married with 26, and had I known then what I know today,
I definitely would have waited to be at least 30 years old.

I'm all for it. I think it's a natural outgrowth of more opportunities for women, more choices beyond "my parent's house or my husband's house" -- in which "husband's house" seemed attractive to plenty of young rebellious women.

Now those women can instead just go off to college, it's not the binary parents/husband thing.

I've been with my husband since I was 21 which seems shockingly young to me now, but it's worked out. (Knock on wood.) I don't think I'd do anything differently -- lived together for 4 years first, got married at 25, 4 years of cap C Career, kid at 29.

Also birth control/ sexual revolution -- horny 18-year-old can go ahead and have sex rather than having to get married first.

My youngest brother was married at 19 (family shocked and dismayed)and their first child came at age 20. He spent four years in the Coast Guard and the next six years in college (undergraduate/graduate) much of it government financed. By the time is children (3) were in their early teens both he and his wife had well paying jobs. The oldest two are now in college. He and his wife are in their early 40's, and looking toward a child free middle age. This, in retrospect, was not a bad strategy, but it required maturity and planning on their part.

Acquiunk- I tip my virtual hat to your brother and sister-in-law. I think that they are quite unusual, and were very mature in their thinking.

It wasn't all smooth sailing and at one point there were a lot of peanut butter sandwiches.

Acquiunk -Hey, I would rather eat peanut butter sandwiches with someone that I love, than caviar with someone that I didn't!

There's just too many other things for people to do, too many places to go and too many things to be nowadays rather than married.

The odds of divorcing are definitely in favor of those who marry younger. I'm living proof of that. But luckily, for the rest of my family that has never been the case. My grandparents eloped at 18 and 19 and were married for about 63 years before my grandfathers death. My own parents eloped at 17 and 19 and just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary. My sister and her husband eloped at 18 and 22 and were married for 31 years before my sisters death. Wait a sec...this is strange. Both of my brothers also eloped and are still happily married after many, many years too. I'm seeing a pattern here. I was the only one in my family who didn't elope. I was the only one in my family to get a divorce. Maybe I should not have broken family tradition.

Now that any number of careers are open to women, there is not need to jump into Marriage & Motherhood.

When I married for the first time, we were both 21. Twelve years later he announced that he had missed his Glorious Youth and he was entitled to second chances--little red sports car and all.

Noddy, I hope that little red sports car was an MG. Those are money pits that spend more time in the shop than on the road.

Acquiunk--

As memory serves me it was a TR something.

It didn't last long. According to the police notes he missed a curve. According to his story the suicidal tree stepped out of the woods....

Trees have been known to do that, telephone poles also.

Amazing the power booze and testosterone have over cellulose--living and dead.

At least he didn't wear layers of manly gold chains. I scored well in the Ridiculous Ex competitions, but I didn't win any blue ribbons.

Hands down winner was a gal with a former husband who demanded both family kayaks in the property settlement. New girlfriend dropped her paddle and floated helplessly down river. While rushing to the rescue Mr. X dropped his paddle....

The River Patrol laughed and laughed and laughed. New girlfriend vanished.

Then there was the Ex-husband who nearly slaughtered his new conquest by charcoal grilling in his apartment kitchen in December with no venting for oxygen renewal.

Fortunately that new conquest had the marbles to realize just why she felt groggy....

Sorry for hijacking the threat, Phoenix. Perhaps I'm proving that on the second time around idiocy is also possible?

Noddy. That's ok. Your stories were priceless!

I think that I have told this story before, but it is worth repeating. When I graduated high school, in 1956, many of the girls married within a few years of graduation.

Some years later, I ran into and old classmate. We started to play, "whatever happened to........." Obviously, this gal had kept in touch with a lot of people. She rattled off a list of girls who had been married, and then divorced, within the first few years of marriage. (My first lasted 4 1/2 years).

In those years, girls went to college to get their "MRS" degree. We went because the brighter guys were found there, the ones that had a better future. In the meantime the young women could pick up a teaching or nursing degree, so if they, God forbid, became "old maids" (when was the last time that you heard THAT phrase) they would have a professional career to support themselves.

Most women, in those years, worked until they married, and became pregnant with their first child. In those years, it was the norm for middle class women to stay home with their children. They had "nursery schools" for kids of 4-5, but day care was almost unheard of. All that changed in the mid to late 1960's.

I remember that when I was divorced, and had to go to work, I had to put my son in nursery school. All the schools in my neighborhood ended at 3pm. After checking at least a half dozen schools, I finally found one, in an adjacent neighborhood, that catered to working mothers, and was open until 6 pm.