Bill Hicks once said...

Hmmm...I guess Bill Hicks never spent 36 hours in labor only to end up with a C-Section for his 10 pound "turd".

My turd gave me streeeeeetch marks!

Bill Hicks also once said...

"If you have children here tonight, and I assume some of you do, I am sorry to tell you this--they are not special. Oh wait, hold on, don't misunderstand me, a lot of you are like 'Whaaat? Well, I...uh....' Let's be clear on this, I know you think they're special. Hahahahahaha! I'm aware of that. I'm just trying to tell you...they're not."

"Did you know that everytime a guy cums, he cums 200 million sperm, did you know that? 200 MILLION sperm, and you mean to think that your child is special? Because one in 200 million sperm in that load, and we're talking ONE LOAD, connected? Gee, what are the f*ckin' odds!?"

"You know what that means? That means I have wiped entire civilizations...off of my chest.....with a gray gym sock. Now THAT is special. Entire nations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel! THAT is special! And I want you to think about that, you women with the two egg carrying, holier than thou 'We have the gift of life'.....attitude. I have tossed universes....in my underpants....while NAPPING! Boom! There goes another Milky Way into my Jockey shorts. OOOOOOOooooooHhhhhhhh! What's for f*ckin' breakfast!"

Oh my god! With civilization as bad as it is today, thank god that Bill Hick's turds were never anything "special"!

Who the hell is Bill Hicks?

"Think of me as Chomsky with dick jokes."

- Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks was the finest comedian of his generation, easily in the same league as Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. Like them, he demolished the standard "Didya ever notice... ?" approach so beloved by stand-ups groveling for sitcoms, talk shows and bit parts in films. Hicks had no time for that. He hated the use of comedy for commercial enhancement, savaging such shills as Jay Leno for urging "bovine America" to cram more Doritos down its fat throat. He regularly pleaded with ad and marketing people to kill themselves for the good of the species.

Gee, I never heard of this toad...thanks for bringing it up Kicky.

Lol - ain't no goddamn universes going NOWHERE without an egg, too.