How to spreak up

Forums: Feminism, Harassment
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In the last years I experienced many situations which made me feel uncomfortable. These situations I talk about where gender related. For example, I was on a packed metro when a man who was about 50 years tried to get passed me. In passing me he just put his arm around my hip. This was really uncomfortable for me as you can guess. However the only thing I did was push him away a little. Afterwards I thought I shoud have said something, I might have shouted at him or I might have told him that this was not simply not okay. But in that moment when I should have said something, I didnt. I do not fully understand why I didnt and I also do not know how to start to speak up for myself in situations like that.

I hope that some of you can help me with this. How would you react? How do you make yourself speak up? Do you shout at him so that everyone can hear or do you talk more privately?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 4 • Views: 1,022 • Replies: 6

@mirtschi08,

In a situation like that, sounds "ok" to me. I mean it's a bus, you have to hold onto something when it's moving and someone is "moving" past another person.

I'm not sure why you even mention age " about 50" if he was 80 would it have bothered you?

I'm not sure what there is to shout about, or quietly say something in a situation like this.

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@FOUND SOUL,

Mostly disagree. Bumping on a crowded bus is just going to happen. That's not quite the same as putting an arm around someone's hip. I'm not quite sure of the situation, but it surely sounds premeditated to me.

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@roger,

Guess she will tell us, just how he placed that arm around her hip ..

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@FOUND SOUL,

I'm so used to people moving other people around on the subway that I don't even think about it unless it's extremely personal touching.

Touches I think of as normal on commuter transit would startle me in other settings.

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@ehBeth,

It is hard to know with being there. I agree with EhBeth.

It seems to me that intent is everything. If someone brushes up against me in an uncomfortable way, but I believe it is accidental, I just let it go. If someone every groped on purpose, I would certainly shout and him or her.

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With all the actual, dirty groping that takes place on public transit, I'd definitely pick my battles, and save a good screaming takedown and a punch in the neck for anyone who grabs your tit, rubs his dick on you, or grabs your ass or crotch.

Other friendlier touching just gets a smile.

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How to spreak up

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