Reply
Tue 7 Dec, 2004 11:23 pm
On another note...
Tonight we had one of those stupid fights...the ones about absolutly nothing. I got mad at him because I asked him to burn me something off his computer that I wanted to give as a present to a friend of mine. I didn't know how to do it but I told him what I needed and left the DVD's for him to burn while I was at school. I came home and no lights were on in the house but I could hear him playing his computer games in the other room which meant that he hadn't left the computer in several hours. I went in there and asked for the DVD's and he told me he didn't do them. When I asked him why he told me that the game he was playing was a really good one. It wasn't the fact that I needed the DVD's or anything, it was the fact that he put his games in front of what I asked of him. This is not the first time...I can never ask him something without having to ask him fifteen hundred times...like a child!
Anyway...long story short....we live in an appartment complex where the laundary machines where in a building outside. I was so mad at him that I refused to help him take the laundary down. I was mad because he thought that me getting mad over something "so ridiculous" as not doing some DVD's for me was stupid. He asked me several times and I refused. So he grabbed his back pack and went into his computer room and started to do his homework. When I asked him why he didn't just do the laundry if it meant that much to him he told me it was because if he did then I would win. ??????? huh??????? Win what? he told me that if he did the laundry that he was rewarding me for my anger and I could get away with it anytime I wanted.......
What the hell....did I marry a 4 year old?? I feel like a parent already
Dam that sux, sound prety shity of him to pick his game over doing you the favor of burning those dvds for you.
without sounding like a prat or a male hater, they can be a sub-species sometimes when it comes to seeing others needs.
They change with age I hear. Mostly.
I hope you can work it out.
If it makes you feel any better, my friend who was recently married had her husband play a game until he was done with it... I think you have to understand the computer game mentality. I don't. It is just not your interest. Or mine.
Try not to be too hard, because you will destroy what you did, get married, for petty reasons, that might seem important now, but really, you chose to live/share your life with this particular person... you need to remember the good things. Do you feel better for expressing it?
Did he agree to burn the DVDs, or did you just tell him to do it and leave it at that?
Obviously a lot of problems that need to be worked on, but a great way to get a partner who acts childish is to treat him or her like a child.
Looking at your other posts, I noticed that your husband does not consider you an equal partner in the marriage.
The DVD situation is simply one more example of the relative priorities of his needs and your needs.
*note CAPS in this message does not mean anger*
I left the message on his computer before I left for school knowing that he would find it there. I called him up and asked him if he had seen the note and had started it yet for me. He told me he was downloading software for it...so at least that was a start. The download only took like ten minutes to do and even though he knew that he got right on his game FOR HOURS AND HOURS....
You might not think that that is enough to get pissy at him...but it was just another thing to add to the camels back. On sunday he spend ALL DAY LONG from the moment he woke up to 5:30pm playing with his computer. I knew at 6:30 he had to leave for a meeting. His computer room is not only his computer room but the place where he puts all his crap he doesn't know what to do with. Piles and piles and piles start to form everywhere and I asked him please can you please pick up all this stuff before you leave and I will start to make dinner. Of course...10 minutes later he was still at the computer. So I asked him again and he finally got up and went to go change. When he was done changing he sat down and started to watch tv. Im a little angry at that point and asked him again to do it. He finally went in there to do something about it. He sat down, ate dinner and started to get his shoes on to leave when I went in there and found that his piles of crap became one huge pile of crap. I asked him why he didnt do anything about them and he told me he had to leave so he left. I feel like I am dealing with a two year old...and each time this keeps building and building on me
im sorry, this might have been covered already but what are you two's ages?
He's not acting like a two-year-old, he's acting like someone who doesn't respect you. You did create a contest between the two of you, so it was not surprising that he didn't want yo to win. You were trying to win.
There is no reason why he would have burned DVDs if a stranger had asked him to, considering he had other plans.
I'm not trying to be rude, but the problem is that he doesn't like you. The problem is that he doesn't respect you.
If you try and turn that into a contest, then he will win, because he doesn't care about your feelings.
He won't respect you unless he DECIDES to. You can't force him to.
Seed wrote:im sorry, this might have been covered already but what are you two's ages?
It has been coverd before but I do not mind sharing old information...we sound young because we are young. We are both 21 but I am a mature adult and can be extreamly mature when I have to be.
About the "competition" to him it was a competition, to me it had nothing to do with the laundry at all. I didn't want to help to prove a point that it really sucks when you ask someone to help them out when they can and they don't. I wasn't trying to be childish, nor did I want to play any "i win" games. It wasn't about winning or loosing anything to me, it was the fact that he has no respect for me that ticked me off.
But you did in fact create an area of competition, and his pride forbade him to take a lesson from you. Even though it was a lesson he needed.
You don't take a bull down by tackling it.
it is indeed young, but I am sure you are mature, but I agree with SCoates, you need to figure out another way to address problems, no just a form of attack and defend. it will get you nowhere in the end, just bitter.
Re: What he really thinks cont....
kitkat_bar wrote:On another note...
Tonight we had one of those stupid fights...the ones about absolutly nothing. I got mad at him because I asked him to burn me something off his computer that I wanted to give as a present to a friend of mine. I didn't know how to do it but I told him what I needed and left the DVD's for him to burn while I was at school. I came home and no lights were on in the house but I could hear him playing his computer games in the other room which meant that he hadn't left the computer in several hours. I went in there and asked for the DVD's and he told me he didn't do them. When I asked him why he told me that the game he was playing was a really good one. It wasn't the fact that I needed the DVD's or anything, it was the fact that he put his games in front of what I asked of him. This is not the first time...I can never ask him something without having to ask him fifteen hundred times...like a child!
Anyway...long story short....we live in an appartment complex where the laundary machines where in a building outside. I was so mad at him that I refused to help him take the laundary down. I was mad because he thought that me getting mad over something "so ridiculous" as not doing some DVD's for me was stupid. He asked me several times and I refused. So he grabbed his back pack and went into his computer room and started to do his homework. When I asked him why he didn't just do the laundry if it meant that much to him he told me it was because if he did then I would win. ??????? huh??????? Win what? he told me that if he did the laundry that he was rewarding me for my anger and I could get away with it anytime I wanted.......
What the hell....did I marry a 4 year old?? I feel like a parent already
Looks like you found you a real prince!
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace