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Hangover Rating-system

 
 
Reply Tue 11 Feb, 2003 09:32 am
Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 star hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.



2 star hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.



3 star hangover ***

Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.



4 star hangover ****

Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.



5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 904 • Replies: 16
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Feb, 2003 09:46 am
hehehehe
0 Replies
 
bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 07:38 am
Never had 5star hangover so far, thank gosh! 4star hangover used to be frequent, but they're down in the numbers... Don't party as hard any more!


Sensible through age?



YIKES!
0 Replies
 
steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:12 am
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:14 am
You too sensible through age, steissd?
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:17 am
No, I just keep my consumption under control.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:19 am
I don't drink very much any more, (Gives me a sinus headache). I can remember once when I was much younger, I woke up the next day, not only with a hangover, but the room was STILL spinning!
0 Replies
 
steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:21 am
Mein Gott!!! How did you manage to survive such doses of booze that did not disappear from your body overnight?
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:22 am
Room still spinning? That has to be a 5.75star hangover, phoenix! New Record!

Steissd, that's what I meant, and how I refrain from anything over a 2star hangover Drunk
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:34 am
I cannot permit to myself even one star. In 1998 while having a military training (I am a reserve service combat medic) I had my gloves torn, and my hands were contaminated with blood. We were refreshing abilities to insert infusion needle into the vein of the injured, and the primary training soldiers volunteered being our lab rabbits. I have no clue which diseases they might have carried in their blood. Since then I have a C-type hepatitits (thanks God, not AIDS). As any chronic liver disease, it is incompatible with drinking.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:48 am
That's too bad streissd - not about the drinking, but about the hep-c.
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steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:51 am
I know. But nothing much can be done about it: there is no cure to the viral diseases.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:54 am
Nope, they are working on vaccinations though.....
0 Replies
 
steissd
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 08:57 am
Vaccination may prevent contracting the disease. So, it will not be so useful for me. And I am not sure whether Israeli national medical insurance will cover such vaccination expenses.
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Heeven
 
  1  
Reply Wed 12 Feb, 2003 09:45 am
I have a one-star hangover today. Went out with the gals last night - 2 glasses Merlot, bottle of Bud and washed down with 2 glasses Baileys on the rocks. It's the wine that gets me sozzled, just can't imbibe any more. However we did eat much food as we regaled the entire bar with what-we-thought-were-funny stories. At one point, the waiter told us to quiet down, we were too loud. I had him pinned to the floor before I realized he was kidding! Anyhoo, I am amazed I have no headache (wine does that to me) and I am not tired this morning. I did drink two glasses of water last night before going to bed and had a hearty breakfast this morning.

Many years ago I think I experienced a 7-star. I was treated for alcohol poisoning after a major drinking session. I was young and stupid and out of control. The next day I was sure I had not only a hangover, but also the flu! It wasn't until my doctor saw the blue/purplish tinges on my face that he told me I had drunk so much my system was shutting down. Took me four days to recover. I prayed for death the entire time!

I'm too old for that crap now. I get merry on a couple of glasses these days so there's no fear of me going overboard again!
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bigdice67
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 05:46 pm
Heeven, that sounds like a pure 7star-rating!!! That has never happened, thank gosh, and I'll never try to get that far! Drunk
0 Replies
 
patiodog
 
  1  
Reply Thu 13 Feb, 2003 05:51 pm
hmmm, some newspaper columnist somewhere had a named hangover classification system a few years ago. the only one i remember is the equivalent of the five star -- "the Quasimodo."
0 Replies
 
 

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