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Fri 3 Dec, 2004 06:02 pm
I've tried talking to a few people about this but I keep getting mixed answers so i dont know what to do.
I have been with this guy for almost a month now. He plays pool every day at the local pool hall and he's amazing at it. When we first got together he would constantly want to see me and bring me with him to the pool hall for his practices so he could still see me but get his practice in then we would go do our own thing. Now it seems to be different. The pool thing is taking over everything. He'll spend the night then leave early in the morning to play then not leave the hall until late at night. He always calls from there and it feels like i'm being cheated on with a pool cue 
We used to go together and now I am so sick of the place I hate being there. I'm trying to be supportive and when he calls and talks about pool (because thats all he talks about) I praise him on how well he's doing when really I want to tell him its getting out of hand. I know its his hobby and I should be supportive but I dont know how much longer I can deal with being neglected and only seeing him maybe twice a week AT THE POOL HALL. We dont get any quality time together. To top it off he lives with his ex girlfriend and her mom. His ex is apparently also his best friend...should I be worried? He doesn't call as much anymore and when he does its about what he did that day at the pool hall. Help!
-Paris
Well, I don't usually get involved in these sorts of personal issues, but he sounds like a fantastic guy to me: interesting, considerate, romantic...
Don't be hasty in your decision, PrettyParis!
I agree with Phoenix. You've invested a month and reaped a few pleasant memories. These memories are being eroded by by your pool shark's present behavior.
"What have you done for me lately" is usually a gag line, but in this situation you should ask yourself, "What has he done for me lately?" and then act on the logic of the answer.
You deserve a full-time romance--and he already has both pool and his ex-girlfriend.
::nods:: and he is all those things when he isn't busy with his pool playing addiction. I mean I know I should be glad he isnt addicted to something harmful like drugs or anything ::laugh:: but I would like more time with him. Do you think there would be a way to bring my concerns up with him without upsetting him or him thinking I'm being possesive and not supportive of his hobby?
-Paris
Paris--
You can try anything--but if this guy wanted quality time with you away from the pool hall, he'd arrange for quality time with you away from the pool hall.
He has what he wants.
You want him to change.
Good luck.
Sorry Honey, but a Month? Ditch him!!
He has more of a relationship with the pool table than he does you...
And about him living with the ex... That's just waaay too complicated.
Right! Living with the ex is way over the top. The pool? Well, everyone has hobbies, special interest, and even avocations. He hasn't made a secret of it, so take it or leave it. You don't have a really big investment here, and that thing with the ex certainly wouldn't work for me.
Actually, it sounds like you >paris< took over pool fora while, not the other way around. Move on.
This guy sounds like a huge winner.
I mean, playing pool all day is nowhere as cool as being an internet dork.
I saw this license plate today: DORQUE. I loved it.
Why don't you just come out and say where you saw it...on your car?
I definately agree with those saying "one month?!" That's really not a long time, especially with a guy that's -already- putting his hobby ahead of you.
I've tried the "please spend more time with me -puppy eyes-" asking before. And I can say, it's completely the truth when anyone tells you, If he wanted to spend the time with you, he'd make time for you.
You shouldn't have to ask for affection and time. You're his, he should want to spend much time with you. If a pool game can give him the same happiness as a day with you, we've got a problem here.
It doesn't seem like he's worth the effort of trying to put up with his odd behavior... so I vote Ditch him.
It looks like things are improving. He had a pool tournament 2 days ago so I drove across town to surprise him over there. He was really happy about it so he's been coming by every day and ditching his pool for me. I hope things stay like this, I really can't deal with how it was before.
-Paris
ok just talk to him tell him how you are feeling and if he trys to change things (even if he isent succesfull) then give him another chance if ur guy things pool is more important that you take taht as ur "cue" to dump him
You worry if he will be irritated if you mention your concerns.
Poor Poolcue will be displeased?
Maybe you haven't seen many real life examples of relationships between men and women in which people pay attention to each other and speak to each other about these kind of concerns because they are partners, making their way in the world together.
Any kind of relationship you might have with a guy like this is as a piece of chalk to his cue. Please think more of yourself.
a month and so many issues, sounds like way too much to sift through with this one, get out before you get in too dep man
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