How do you stop self infliction of pain?

Ack 272 - here are some sites which you may wish to look at - and see if you think they might be helpful to your sister, too:


http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

(This is a site for people who self-mutilate)

http://ct.essortment.com/whatisselfmut_rfyb.htm

General info site



http://www.focusas.com/SelfInjury.html

More good info


http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Self_Injury/Site/

Another site for sufferers

http://www.smith.edu/ourhealthourfutures/selfmutil.html

Site by a sufferer

http://wso.williams.edu/~atimofey/self_mutilation/

looks like a good info site

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0393319385/104-2880448-2910344?v=glance

self-help book - I do not doubt there are many!

I will have more of a look for you llater today, Ack 272!

Hello, I'm new to A2K and never in my wildest dreams did I think my first post would relate to self ingury, but here I am. My 14 yo daughter SIs and if not for the forum at BUS (bodies under siege) we would both be in-patient.

First, self injury is different things to different people. For some it's about control, for others it's a way to feel alive and is used as a mechanism to avoid suicide. It is NOT an attempt to die.

I highly recommend anyone who needs support for self injury to visit the bus web-site for a world of info and join the forums there as a "friend & family" member for those of us who help each other through the ups and downs of supporting our loved ones or as a SIer who needs a controlled and monitored environment to get support and be with others who understand what they are going through.


The www.palace.net site above is a link to bus - you can access the forum from the main site. It isn't just for those who si - we have an active friends and family forum as well.

Hi J_B and welcome to A2K. I think you'll be a great addition to our group.

How is your daughter doing?

I would be interested in hearing how you dealt with the problem when you first learned that your daughter was doing this.

Did you freak? Or what?

It's a long story but the abbreviated version was she had been showing signs of depression but I didn't sense how severe it was. She started talking to a counselor at school on her own and as things got worse the counselor told her someone needed to let me know so we could get her some outside help.

I was aware of one of her close friends who had started to SI so when she told me she was having some 'bad thoughts' I knew what she meant. I saw some evidence the next day and called the school counselor. We had d evaluated and got a diagnosis of major depression. She was in therapy for a while, improved over the summer and then took another dive when school started in the fall. We took her to a pdoc who thought she was manifesting anxieties more than true depression. She's over the hump again as she's settled into being in high school and we keep close connection with her on her psyche and how she's feeling. We were concerned about how she would handle the holidays but things seem to be fine. She's enjoying the break from school - her major stressor - and has claimed this to be the best Christmas ever.

We take things one day at a time. 14 is a VERY difficult age and for those with emotional issues it is even more difficult. She knows we're on her side and we will do whatever it takes so she can feel the security she needs to get through her anxieties and depression. My saving grace is having a very clear memory of being 14 and having a mom I could talk to about anything. I'm sure I spared her some of the details but she was there for me and I've never forgotten it.

Thanks for the welcome.

One additional note to the original poster. She mentioned that her sister had troubles with a boy and they'd had to move around a lot. My d's depression started after the breakup of her first significant relationship. She was probably prone to depression (genetic link on dh's side) and anxiety (genetic link on my side) but we didn't see this coming. If the poster's sister has a history of emotional issues and/or a family link to depression and anxieties then the breakup with the boy could have been the original trigger.

That was a year ago and it's definately moved past the boy. She now has become a regular SIer and has chosen this way as her coping mechanism. One of the biggest things I've learned in the past year is that although she has chosen an unhealthy coping mechanism, the emotional place she is in is very similar to those with an eating disorder, promiscuous behavior, teenage alcoholism or drug use, and a number of other unhealthy choices. Ack 272 should realise her sister CHOOSES to si. No one makes her do it. She could choose to do something else, but she doesn't. They shouldn't walk on egg shells around her trying to prevent the si. They should however, understand that she has emotional issues, that she gets triggered by certain things (yelling is a big one for a lot of SIers) and they can be sensitive to how she's doing. It's a long road to recovery but it can and does happen once she's ready.

My personal opinion is that unless someone is in immediate danger of suicide then going IP should not be the first choice. SI is more common than ever - becoming as common as eating disorders were 10 years ago. There are obviously emotional issues involved but long term support (either professional or not) can help them get through it.

Sorry if I've gone off on a tangent. I really never expected to find an SI discussion on this board.

As a side note - the bus forums are having technical difficulties all of a sudden. They response time is extremely slow. They're working on it.

J_B--

Welcome to A2K. You've given us a lot of valuable information.

because i am someone who cuts i can say this...its alot harder to talk to someone about it than one thinks. you dont know exactly how to explain it and why you do it..but all you know is it helps you in ways that others dont understand.