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Mon 10 Jul, 2017 02:25 pm
I see myself falling for a woman I met this year...
We met at a friends birthday party back in January and immediately hit it off. Several things in common, hobbies, politics, even down to blasting the car radio while speeding down a highway. All of our friends see the sparks flying, I see the sparks, and I am sure she see's it as well. We even share a Spotify playlist and its 90% love songs.
I am a confident man, I have had no issues making the first move in the past. I have already been married twice and those relationships failed. The first wife was for 5 years and she cheated multiple times. The second I was with for 10 and she was physically and verbally abusive. I recently just ended a relationship that has gone on for 2.5 years, she was not who she claimed. I have to two modes, dating for fun, and dating for long term. I see this new woman as "long term" hence my concern.
Now for the twist, she's an open lesbian, has admitted to liking men in her youth. Even stated she's curious what its like to be with a man now. I do not want to cross a line with a friend, I am not the "Just haven't met the right dude" kind of guy. I respect her sexuality, if she states she is a lesbian, then I won't make a move.
I am being told by mutual friends to do something about it, they are basically "shipping" us together. They already think we're low-key dating and just keeping it ourselves. We hang out alone 4-5 times a week, we watch movies, hit the beach, go out for drinks, etc. By all the reports I get from friends, they state she is into me.
I have been telling myself that she's just friendly and I am deluding myself. Please advise...
It sounds like you are in the "friend zone" with her.
If you want to move it to the next level, then DO something about it. Tell her how you feel. She should let you know where she's at - she sure owes you that explanation.
But be prepared - She may be bi. How will you feel about that?
@PUNKEY,
I have no issues with her being bi, that is not choice that is my call. In most cases I would do something, I'm not shy or lack confidence in previous dating experiences. However, due to her stating she's a lesbian.. how would one proceed without offending her? I do not know if the information I received about her feeling the same is conjecture or from her mouth. I am not worried about "friend zone" I am more than happy retaining my relationship as friends. I just want to be able to approach the matter with her without upsetting her.
@Artificial Rapture,
Does she have other close friends? Do you have other close friends?
If you guys are spending 4-5 days out of the week together that is a significant amount of time to invest in a singular person that you aren't in a relationship with. You are doing it because you see this going somewhere it probably won't. She is doing it because you're her best bud, probably more fun to hang out with than her female friends, and you're a guy so you bring something different to the table.
Go find a girl that isn't a lesbian and invest your time and energy there. It doesn't mean you have to stop being friends.
@Artificial Rapture,
You just need a pause and talk
She's taking up a lot of your time. You sound like you want a full relationship with a woman. Why are you so afraid of finding out if this particular woman can move from being a friend to a lover and companion. ?
You will not lose her friendship if she tells you shes not having those feelings about you. You really need to know.
As I said before, shes taking up a lot of your time.
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