What's wrong with me?

Do you get any time to yourself? Sounds like the kids are wearing you down. This is a tough situation becasue it is your job but I would suggest trying to get away from it all and allowing yourself to recharge. I don't understand why he doesn't trust you... did you do anything to warrant that?

Just that we had......
an affair together. I have talked on the internet and went out on a date with someone through one of our break -ups. My husband would do anything for me.Because that is the kind of guy he is.He wants me to be just like him.I have alot of bad that has happened in my past.That I guess makes me who I am.And the same for him.
We are trying for a child together.He gets mad because I have sex alot during that time of the month. We do have time away from kids.My boys go w/their dad everyother weekend.And we go and do our thing. I do love him ,but maybe its not as much as he loves me.I just dont know.

Selfishness, self-absorbtion and egocentricity are lead weights to any relationship.
What have you done for HIM lately?

You say you started this relationship via "an affair", and brought two young children into the deal...
sounds like you have made YOUR bed.

I hope you don't lead your children through 20 years of playing "Stepdad-of-the-Month".

all touched out?
It could be time for a change of work.

Something that a lot of people don't know about, but is really common, is to be all-touched-out. If you work with kids, especially, your in contact, closely, with people all day. This means you have nothing in reserves for your hubby. Sex and affection almost become a chore with the people that its optional for, when its required from so many other people.

I would suggest a change of environment, maybe work if its possible. At the very least, you could rule this posibility out. Let your hubby in on the secret. Keeping things like this to yourself never helps. Tell him you need a change of scenery or daily actions, and that you don't mean to leave him on the sidelines.

I think of this because you say you work with kids 12 hours a day, and that you enjoy sex, but you just don't think of it on your own. But don't go to the other end of the spectrum. You don't need to be a nympho to have a healthy relationship.

Hope this helps!

I have told.............
him that I want a diffent job.He says that no other job will pay me more to stay home and be with my kids.I think it is just him being jealous.Thanks for everyones thoughts.

So what your saying is...?
So, basically, you've told him you want to change things in your life, and he blew you off saying your better off at home?

He may as well have said your better off barefoot and pregnant.

You have a life away from your husband. You have to choose what will make you happy, and sometimes couples don't have to agree with everything. So long as they can talk about things and compromise.

It doesn't sound like he understands what makes a marrage work.

If you CHOOSE not to change, thats your perogative. If you don't change because he wants you to be home and willing whenever he gets the urge, then your marrage won't last. You can't be expected to live like he wants you to, and its above marital dutys if he expects you to perform for him when your not happy.

Its no longer "Serve and obey" for women. Find yourself some backbone, and you'll be a lot happier for it, even if he leaves you for it.

Sorry if this is tough, but it took me years to figure it out. I followed my husband for years, loyal to the end, only to have him betray me with some Philoppino whore. He said he didn't like the way we lived, when he was the one that signed the military contract that made us live that way in the first place.

You CAN'T EVER live for someone else entirely. You have to be happy with you first, before you can be happy with someone else.

Most of the problem is probably your job. Taking care of two children and running a child-care service is extremely hard work.

12 hours makes it worse, and is understandable that you're tired at night. I don't think anyone can maintain 12 hr days 5 days a wk. Too much stress...

Your husband is right, no other job will pay well and provide the personal time with your children that you currently have; however, you can try other schedules. These other options may be more expensive but they will usually be less stressful.

So, if your financial status is 'ok' I would search for another job, pay for child-care service for your children, and see how that works.

You could try working during the night. This is stressful and takes a toll on a relationship, but I don't think it's as much as working 12 hr days.

Ghostcat ......My husband is not like that.I want a different job,but we need the money (well I like the money)I make 800-1000$aweek it is hard to just stop this job and work 40 hours aweek for 200$.And about the bare foot and pregnant that is what I want.He doesnt understand that when his day at work is over it's over.Mine isnt. We have talked about me getting into bowling or something like just getting away acouple of times aweek to myself maybe that will help.I Hope.Thanks for everyones help