Help!!!

Bluedays.....how old are you guys?

Personally, I think that 8 weeks into the marriage is too soon to think about ending it. Especially if there is "love" on both your parts.

In my opinion you got married much too quickly. It seems that you got married during the time of your relationship when things were at their best.....never giving yourself time to enter that stage where you interact with each other during the not so good times.

All you can do at this point is try and get her to go to counseling. If she refuses......go yourself.

Give your marriage all you have before thinking about disolving it. I realize that during your 8 short weeks of marriage....half of that has been spent outside of the bliss that you should be feeling. However, we're not talking about breaking up with someone you are dating. This is REAL. This is MARRIAGE.

If I were you.....I'd show her love and kindness. I wouldn't push anything with her. See if she will get rid of the chip on her shoulder so you can move forward in a better light. It sounds like she has a whole lot of growing up to do.

I would second what Brooke said. The fights you have had should have been anticipated. Two people don't mesh into one without some adjusting on both parts, and it is magnified in your case because quite frankly you two did not really get to know each other before getting married.

I would ask why you would commit to spend your life with someone after only two months, but of course that is neither here nor there now because you have done so. I think you do have a responsibility to try everything to make the marriage work.

So here is my advice:

1. Talk to her. Ask her what is bothering her. Find out exactly why she has withdrawn and do so without judging her or being critical.

2. If she is willing, go to a counselor together. Better yet, if you attend a church, set up some counseling sessions with the minister.

3. If she won't go, then go alone.

It will take both of you to make this thing work. If she won't talk to you about it then that may be an indication that she doesn't want it to work. Maybe she is regretting getting married so quickly to a guy she did not really know.

I wish you both luck. Bottom line is this...Keep the communication going between you. If you cannot talk about things you are already at a huge disadvantage.

Thanks for all the advice. I see what you guys are saying and i have tried time and time to reach her in one form or the other. I even tried just letting her be, and she just went allong with it. I understand we went into something so big very fast but i do want it to work. I guess what i'm asking is how do i reach out, nothing i have tried is working!

I'm 30 yrs old and she is 28, to answer brooks question.

Thanks!!

Sweetheart........When we make changes in our lives, we begin a new path of discovering ourselves. In the case of marriage, the journey surely is not always an easy one. Learning to share your life and become a part of an "us" and no longer a "me" can test a persons stress limits.

You see, you can't do it alone. She has to listen and communicate with you. She has to embrace the "us." Until she does, nothing you do WILL work, per se'.

How do you reach out to her, you ask. Perhaps by not giving up? By showing her that you love her, no matter what. By being sweet and kind to her, even when she is frustrating the heck out of you. By not allowing her to make you feel like quiting.

I would go to her. Tell her you have some things you need to say to her. Tell her that before you do, you want her to know that it is ok if she does not participate in the discussion, but you would like for her to at least listen. Then tell her all the things about her that you fell in love with. Tell her that you value your marriage and you want it to last forever. Tell her that you are sorry for whatever it is you have done to cause her to pull her love away from you. Tell her that she is your best friend and you miss her. Then ask her if she will please help you to understand her feelings.

If she does not wish to do so...then don't push.

You rushed into this marriage........now you are going to need to learn how to walk softly and slowly back into it. But remember .......you can't do it alone.

I can't help you bluedays, I just wanted to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes of Brooke...

Happy Thanksgiving, gorgeous!

And HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you, my sexy Italian Stallion!

bluedays, why did you get married that fast?
What was the rush?

Even if you don't make it to your Golden anniversary,
at least pass Formica

Don't give up yet. It seems you're both impulsive people
and very emotional. Go seek counseling for yourself
and maybe in time, she'll join you, and the two of you
can work out your differences.

Good luck!