I would start with not drinking to the point where you don't know what is going on. It's bad for you, bad for your career, and bad for your marriage.
Next, find folks to hang out with that don't need to get **** face drunk to have fun.
At some point in the process you probably need to sort out that you are a grown man, a husband, maybe a father, definitely a role model to a lot of kids that look up to police and firemen, and probably the hero to more than a few people that you've helped.
You need to have an honest to God conversation with your wife where you genuinely apologize for being terrible (since I'm gonna guess this has happened before), you're going to grow up, and you get that you've been acting like a college frat boy.
Get divorced and continue as you were.