Comparing my new love to my old love...

I don't think comparing in and of itself is anything to worry about too much... just depends on whether it expresses itself in damaging ways. Like, if she wears a lot of blue, and your ex wore a lot of red, do you say, "Why don't you wear some red? My ex wore red and she looked great in it..."

Well, that was an awkward example, but you get the idea. You can think whatever you want -- pretty hard to get yourself to stop thinking about something, anyway -- as long as you're careful about how those thoughts translate into words/ actions.

Glad you're moving on, congrats!

How old are you? How many women have you known well? Are the comparisons unflattering to your new girlfriend?

How long has it been since the break up? People think about their exes long after the break up and say "he used to do that" or "wow, that reminds me of..." It's ok. It doesn't mean you don't love/like your new girlfriend any less. Just don't let your new girlfriend know. Ouch.

Its been a a month or so since i split up with my ex. I havent actually said to my new gf, why dont you wear this.... or why dont you do that...... I just think to myself Well she didnt do that and she didnt like that.....
I couldnt tell her that i keep comparing her to my old ex, that would hurt her i feel.

The question is... how does she add up?

If you keep thinking that your new gf isn't as good as your ex then you might have a problem and need to find a way to get your mind off of your ex.

On the other hand, if you keep thinking "Wow! This girl is awsome... my ex never wanted to try this." or "This new girl is much more exciting than my ex." Then I don't think you have anything to worry about.

It is normal to compare new experiences to old ones... it is how we learn.

jp gives very good advice. As long as it isn't an issue about you wanting to MAKE her into your ex, just enjoy the similarities, AND the differences.

Frankly, it is never a good idea to compare ex-friends/spouses, as every relationship is as different and individual
as the people involved.

It is not fair to anyone.

Re: Comparing my new love to my old love...


Looks like you are not yet ready for a new relationship. You need time to heal, and take stock of yourself, before jumping into another relationship.