Missing my ex-best friend.

I miss the time when my best friend and I were still together. It's been months since we stopped talking. But these days, I am feeling very heartbroken and depressed because I miss her so much. Our fight all started when my best friend found a boyfriend. He was very controlling and manipulative. The guy did not want her to talk to anyone, but only him which made me feel upset and I started to behave like a jerk to her. We then drifted apart as I started to avoid her to see if she would come and confront me. But I'm sure that I discouraged her to come to me because I've been avoiding her.

I've been such a jerk. I even blocked her on all social media sites.. because I felt anger as she continues to contact her boyfrind, but not me. I regret all of my actions because I have made my friendship worse.

I see her looking quite down and lonely.. I wish I could go and cheer her up but we no longer talk. She eventually found a new friend to be with ... I really miss her. I do see her looking at me time to time as well (if only I could read her mind of what she's thinking haha)

What do I do? I don't have the courage to go and apologize this late. It's been months that I've been avoiding her... I tried to brush the sadness away but I don't want to forget her.

I am also leaving to another state really soon and so I really hope to solve it out soon. But I'm pretty sure she won't accept me back. What do I do? Should I just accept that our friendship is broken and move on? I'm sorry if I'm asking a lot but I just feel confused and hurt that our friendship is ruined like this.. thanks.