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Six Degrees of Osama

 
 
PDiddie
 
Reply Fri 7 Feb, 2003 07:19 pm
Secretary of State Colin Powell this week offered incontrovertible proof of the long-sought link between Saddam Hussein's Regime and the al Qaeda Terrorist Network.

In a speech before the United Nations General Assembly, Powell was able to show through a series of "degrees of separation" how Hussein was merely 6 people away from Osama bin Laden, leader of al Qaeda.

Using charts, graphs, and all AV equipment available to the U.N., Powell presented his case to the General Assembly and the entire world, which was watching via television cameras.

Never rambling or tentative, a confident Secretary of State spoke with an authoritative, reasoned tone, outlining the solid connection between the leader of Iraq and the group of terrorists deemed "the most dangerous people to Humanity" by Fox News Network.

The series of charts and graphs were presented in 14 different languages, including Farsi, Aramaic and German. French was inexplicably left out of the languages used.

In sum, here are Powell's arguments:


1. In December of 2002, actor Sean Penn went to Baghdad, home of Saddam Hussein.

2. Sean Penn is married to actress Robin Wright Penn.

3. Robin Wright Penn made the movie "Forrest Gump" with Tom Hanks.

4. Tom Hanks made the film "Apollo 13" with Kevin Bacon.

5. Kevin Bacon made a Visa card commercial with Indian-born character actor Sahid Benjali.

6. Sahid Benjali used to bartend at the Lingerie Club in Hollywood. In the early 80's he served drinks to Carmen bin Laden, a former USC student, who is Osama's sister-in-law (estranged).

After the presentation there were several heated discussions, with many of the delegates making angry responses, some of which were not too flattering to the case being made.

"6 degrees? Fah!" said Ahmad Abul Gheit, the delegate from Egypt. "I can get from Saddam to Osama in 5 people! Including Madonna!"

"5 people? I can do it in four," retorted Elinor Hammarskjold, the Swedish delegate. "And I don't need to use Kevin Bacon! Just give me the Farrelly Brothers and a pool boy in Bel-Air!" Whereupon the entire floor of the U.N. erupted into arguments.

Eventually the winner emerged: Tanzania delegate Mark J. Mwando was able to get from Saddam to Osama in 2:


1. In 1983, Saddam Hussein met with then-U.S. Envoy Donald Rumsfeld, working on behalf of the Ronald Reagan-George Bush Sr. administration.

2. George Bush Sr. was formerly the head of the CIA, the organization which armed Osama bin Laden and provided training to his followers in the 80's.

For coming up with the winning entry, Delegate Mwando was treated to a party platter from the Carnegie Deli on 7th Ave. "This is wonderful," Mwando said as he munched on a dill pickle. "I can feed half of Tanzania with this!"

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld could not be reached for comment.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 788 • Replies: 9
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Feb, 2003 07:27 pm
<heehee>

I almost just quoted Jimi Hendrix.... too much beer. Good Post PDiddie. But, apparently, the USA ties to Hussein and bin Laden aren't the issue Rolling Eyes
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Feb, 2003 07:27 pm
Hahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahaha...

...HAAahhahaha!
0 Replies
 
PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Feb, 2003 08:04 pm
For those of you who know who I'm talking about, I have posted (on Abuzz) a story about massagattos.

It's here:

Behind Enemy Lines
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Feb, 2003 09:02 am
oh my!
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Feb, 2003 09:37 am
one degree of separation
http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:WK3t_inTHTUC:content.miw.com.sg/LifeStyle
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Feb, 2003 09:48 am
grrrrrrrrrrr

sometimes the obvious is so annoying
0 Replies
 
Thinkzinc
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Feb, 2003 06:48 pm
Very effective, PDiddie.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Feb, 2003 08:22 pm
Wait wait PDiddie this is original? I assumed it was a posting of something you found somewhere, but the segue to the Massagattos story (FUNNY!) suggests that you wrote it yourself. If so, WOW!
0 Replies
 
PDiddie
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Feb, 2003 08:40 am
This is NOT my effort. I should have linked the source. Here it is:

Powell Offers Proof of Saddam-Osama Link

"I being a spy" is mine.
0 Replies
 
 

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