I am really confused by her behavior ?

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I caught this girl staring at me several times. sometimes she make it obvious and sometimes from the corner of her eyes. i was once in the hall way going to my room in student accommodation and we made eye contact. she smiles and she said " I didn't realize we live next to each other" I said Yeah. I know I should have carried the conversation but I cat a bit awkward when I like someone. Today I was with a group of friends and she came in I said "whatsup jane" she looked at me smiled and looked down and she didn't respond so I am really confused and I really dunno what to do. coz with other guys she seems more outgoing and whenever they say hi to her she smiles and say hi. is she interested and shy or not interested coz I feel sometimes that I am invisible to her and sometimes not

I asked her out on facebook since I could not have a private conversation with her. all our colleagues are there. so she didn't respond but when she saw me in the hallway she said in an enthusiastic tone " helllllllllo I saw your message today , frankly speaking I am pretty busy this week so we can go in the weekend or we can have a coffee in the residence in the roof" just a note no one goes to the roof in the residence so most probably we will be alone.
during the conversation she attentive but could not look me in the eye why is that?
I met her today we were in a group of friends she is way more open but still she can't look me in the eye.

we didn't talk on the roof because i am the one who should propose this. but after the facebook message she is way more open to me greets me in an enthusiastic tone. but still she can't look me in the eye. today I discovered that she went out with friends on Saturday so why didn't she message me to tell me that she is free since I asked her out on Saturday. anways I asked her to go on Monday to a place but she answered that she has classes on that day and she didn't offer any alternative. I am really confused and I dunno how to act.
is she interested or not? what should I do next ?

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 1,630 • Replies: 24

[+3] - CoastalRat - 05/23/2017Why are you sending her messages? Pick up a phone and call her! When you see her, pull her aside and talk to her! You'll get a much better indication of where you stand if you are actually...

@jamsjames,

jamsjames wrote:

we didn't talk on the roof because i am the one who should propose this.

today I discovered that she went out with friends on Saturday so why didn't she message me to tell me that she is free since I asked her out on Saturday.

she wasn't free to go out with you on Saturday she was spending time with her friends

she told you when she was available to spent time with you.

you seem to have turned that down. that was a mistake.

it seems like she was interested but you may have missed your chance with her
__

try sending her a note asking her when she will be available and where she would like to meet. if she doesn't respond to that, you've messed up too much.

___

do you think there are rules abut who can ask people out and who is in charge of organizing meetings? you may want to be open-minded about these matters

2 Replies

@ehBeth,

I cant just grab her when we are surrounded by her friends and tell her lets go to the roof top it doesnt look good. and why she told me that she has assignments on that when she is actually spending time with friends. dont you think that she doesnt want to go out because people where we live might speculate that we are trying to date so she doesnt want that. i dunno i am just guessing ?

3 Replies

@jamsjames,

you're right - you can't grab her and tell her (with friends around or not) what to do

send her a note asking her when she is available and where she would like to meet

ask her
don't tell her

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

i will ask her that but dont you think that if a girl is intersted she would offer alternatives ?

4 Replies

@jamsjames,

why she is not offering alternatives ?? her actions are contradicting ?

2 Replies

@jamsjames,

jamsjames wrote:

why she told me that she has assignments on that when she is actually spending time with friends.

maybe she thought it was nicer than telling you she had other plans that didn't involve you

__

again - ask her if/when she is available and where she would like to meet

__

Hi X, sorry it didn't work out last time. I'd still like to get together for a coffee. If you're cool with that, when is a good day/time to meet and where would you like to meet? JJ

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

she gave you a plan - meeting on the roof
you turned it down

why would she offer another?

ask her again

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

jamsjames wrote:

why she is not offering alternatives ?? her actions are contradicting ?

Why should she? Why should she do all the work?

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

But you ARE trying to go on a date.

Trust me, people have better things to do than to think about whether one person is thinking about taking another person out. If they do think about it, they have nothing better to do and need to get a life of their own to mind.

Asking her out in front of a group would be awkward for her as that is a private thing.

Either catch her alone or if she's with a group quietly say to her you'd like to speak to her later. If some impolite nosy body asks you what you said, tell them it's private.

She's given you plenty of indications she's interested. It's your turn.

If she's not looking directly at you it may be she's shy or nervous about this too.

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

nope - her actions were not contradictory.

you invited her to meet - she told you a time / place that would work for her - you seem to have turned it down because of the location

if I were her, I'd wonder if you were actually interested in me

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

jamsjames wrote:

i dont you think that if a girl is intersted she would offer alternatives ?

she did - the roof for coffee

why didn't that happen?

0 Replies

@jamsjames,

jamsjames wrote:

i will ask her that but dont you think that if a girl is intersted she would offer alternatives ?

I just looked this up in the Girl Manual and nope, it doesn't look like she's required to suggest alternatives.

She does not possess some superior knowledge of how all this "asking her out" thing goes.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

thank you ehbeth for your input. I just wanna add a bit of info. not to sound arrogant but I am a veryd good looking at least thats what many girls have told me so do you think this makes her intimidated someway and thus reluctant ?

2 Replies

@chai2,

thank you chai2 for your input. I just wanna add a bit of info. not to sound arrogant but I am a veryd good looking at least thats what many girls have told me so do you think this makes her intimidated someway and thus reluctant ?

0 Replies

@petergarida,

petergarida wrote:

I am a veryd good looking at least thats what many girls have told me so do you think this makes her intimidated someway and thus reluctant ?

nope

0 Replies

@petergarida,

wait.

who are you?

is peter also james? do you have two personalities in real life too?

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Busted

1 Reply

@chai2,

I sent her this message I know that I will be called weirdo after sending this text but I prefer to be called weirdo better than an unfortunate person for not working hard enough to make it work because I have an intuition that you are worth every effort I make. can you give me when you are available so that we can organize a hangout. if you are not interested in going out ignore my text and I will receive the hint and I will distance myself from you and carry on with my life." her reply was this: yes it is always better to work hard than doing doing nothing! I am extremely busy till mid June. i have lots of projects to finish."

what do you think ??

1 Reply

@petergarida,

I think she's busy until mid-June.

1 Reply

I am really confused by her behavior ?

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