What I mean about lying is that depression tells you you're worthless, that life is not worth living, that you can't be helped so you shouldn't even try, that you are unlovable, that you are a bad person, that it's not worth it to get up in the morning, and that no one will miss you if you die, etc etc.
Those are lies that the disease is telling you.
Look, I am no doctor. But your doctor is, and he or she knows your history far better than I or anyone else on the internet will, no matter how many times we read your profile.
I hope you will go back and work to get the help you clearly need.