Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:28 pm
Mo will not wear clothes.

You put his clothes on, turn your back and he is running around naked.

We try to limit his nakedness to the house and to the backyard but he sees naked opportunity everywhere. It is a constant battle to get him to keep his clothes on in public.

In private, I don't really mind him running naked but now that the weather is getting nippy I think clothing would be a good idea.

He does not think clothing is ever a good idea.

How do I get this naked boy to wear clothes?
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Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:30 pm

how old is Mo?
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:33 pm
He'll be four in Jaunary.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:38 pm
Oh my!

Sozlet had a few bouts with that, had to do some uncharacteristic putting-down-of-foot. Clothes or we're not going anywhere. No clothes? Fine. (Abandon plans to go out, tears spurt, clothes are donned, we leave.)

She never tried to take clothes off in public, though... if she did I might scoop her up and take her home immediately. Make taking off clothes = end of fun.
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:43 pm
We do already have the "no clothes-no go" rule. But Mo is usually perfectly fine without going. I'm afaid that in my case he's learned that if he doesn't want to go somewhere all he has to do is strip down.

There are really just a few places that he tries to take his clotes off outside the house - the swimming pool, the sandbox at the zoo, the park... play areas, I guess. Of course, I'm always close at hand and really on the lookout in those places anyway so I can stop the stripping before he gets too far.

But still......
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:47 pm
Hmmmm...

I don't know!

I think if it were a persistent thing I'd scoop up sozlet and take her home. Seems like one of those preschool boundary-pushing things where you just have to enforce the boundary. My least favorite part of preschooler parenting...
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cjhsa
 
  0  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:51 pm
A paddling hurts worse with no padding.
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 12:53 pm
We discussed such, when I studied Sexual Pedagogics. Unfortunately (for this thread), I was stuck up in a traffic jam and came to late. (And since it wasn't relevant for the exams ... :wink: )

(But somewhere in the cellar there should be those old scripts ...)
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:24 pm
Even if I were prone to paddeling, I hardly think this deserves something so harsh, cjsha.

Hitting someone to get your way is hardly a message I want to send.

Walter! Your post has me worried. "Sexual Pedagogics"? What the heck is that?
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:31 pm
Isn't pedagoguey a type of teaching/learning?


I was gonna suggest overalls, but that doesn't work at the pool.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:32 pm
ok, so a pedagogue is a teacher.

maybe Walter was taking a course to teach Sexuality, or something along that line. (that would make sense if I do a literal translation from the English to German)
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Walter Hinteler
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:43 pm
A ped·a·gogue also ped·a·gog or paed·a·gogue is according to Webster's Third New International Dictionary, Unabridged "a teacher of children or youth".

And I got a diploma from the University of Dortmund, faculty of education sciences, institute of sexual pedagogics, as such a 'specialist'.

Nothing fearsome at all :wink:
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:51 pm
Oh then. Okay.

Whew!

I don't believe that there is an item of clothing that this kid could not get out of, eBeth.

We try to instill that "your body is a wonderful thing" and the "your body belongs to you, not to anybody else" but really I don't know where this naked fixation comes from. Its not like Mr. B and I run around naked, but we certainly aren't prudes.

I don't want to send the message that his body (or anyone else's) is shameful - I just want him to put some darn clothes on!
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mac11
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 01:55 pm
How about turning down the thermostat a bit? You'd save money and he'd be a little too chilly to strip? Just a thought.
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colorbook
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 02:01 pm
Try buying him clothes just like daddy's, grandpa's or clothing similar to his favorite cartoon heroes. My daughter did this around the same age and only at home, although, it was terrible when company came. Somewhere along the line, I just happened to make her an outfit very similar to one of mine...she liked being dressed just like mommy, she wanted to wear it almost every day. I also remember there were always problems trying to get her to take it off. :wink:
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squinney
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 02:33 pm
Actually, unless he just turned 4, he should be past this stage. The undress thing usually happens as a two to early three year old if I remember correctly. But also, if I remember correctly, there were also some extenuating circumstances regarding Mo.

Sounds like it is a way to get to you. A little mischief, if you will. (Tends to be a boy thing in my observation) Have you tried positive reinforcement? Not bribing! Just positive comments like "Mo, I am so pleased you are dressed today." and "I really appreciate you leaving your clothes on in the store. That makes me very happy." Also, "It means so much to me when you leave your clothes on when we go outside. I know you respect me as your Mommy when you do what I ask you to do."

The main thing is to keep it positive. No Don'ts, as in "I like it when you don't take your clothes off at the park." Instead, you would say "I am very pleased that you left your clothes on..."

If that doesn't work, a single swat (not a paddling, spanking or beating) to get his attention never hurt a 4 year old if he is being defiant. Whether that is his intent is for you to judge, since I don't know him.

Just my two cents. I'm sure there are many here that think a single swat should never be executed, but the couple of times it was needed here, when talking failed, it worked wonders in letting him know I was serious and was not going to tolerate misbehavior, and certainly not behavior he knew better than to do. Unfortunately, most other parents are not going to find it cute, or just a kid thing.

Edit: Just read back and saw he is turning 4 in January. Perhaps not time to panic as far as development goes. How about a half day pre-school or similar setting where he is with other kids and has to mind the teacher? Might let you see how things are when he is in the care of other adults and whether or not it is a thing he does only with you and Dad.
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 03:09 pm
A weird thing about Mo, mac, he never gets cold. His mom doesn't either. I've known her for 10 years and have only seen her wear a coat once. I don't know if temperature tolerence can be inherited but if it can, he did. Maybe he's just hot when he has his clothes on.....

Thats an interesting idea, colorbook. He loves to wear his jeans (like me) but he often doesn't make it to the potty in time when he has them on. Maybe I should start wearing elastic waist pants (like him)!

Yes, squinney, Mo has a lot of extenuating circumstances -- which I think is why we have so many set backs with potty learning, among other things.

I'm going to give your reinforcement idea a better try; I think that sometimes I get so frustrated that I just give up. Mo is very social so one way I do use to get him dressed is to let him go do things in the front yard with me only if he puts his clothes on. We live in a very friendly, cozy neighborhood so someone always stops by if we're out in front. Maybe I could add some visiting to our list if he stays dressed.

I think its more mischief than defience - Mo can be very defient but it is easy to tell when he's trying to check the boundry. Sometimes when he does things it almost seems as if he's just checking to make sure that the consequence will be the same as it has in the past. The clothing issue has a different vibe to it.

I've been considering the pre-school thing but just haven't made up my mind about it yet....

Thank you all so much for your responses!
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cjhsa
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 03:16 pm
Political correctness has no place in raising a child. After about the third time Mo has delayed you and kept you from your appointments because he refused to keep his clothes on, you should put your fears of corporal punishment aside.
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 03:22 pm
I'm not trying to be politically correct, cjhsa.

My parents never spanked me or any of my siblings and we all turned out just fine.

While there might be a time and a place for spanking, I don't think this is it.

I just think spanking is a bass-ackwards way of getting cooperation.
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Nov, 2004 03:24 pm
I agree, boomer.

(sozlet's never been spanked, won't be.)

FreeDuck and I were just rhapsodizing about William Sears, have you seen his "Discipline Book"? Good stuff in there.
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