I need help to find my father!

Reply Sun 14 May, 2017 02:41 am
If anyone can help me please do, i would love to be able to meet my father for the 1st time because when i was little he left me and i know most people would be like 'why would you want to meet the person who ran away because of your existence???' I want to meet him because then and only then when i am face to face with him i will know if he thinks he made a mistake or not, but even so i am only 12 i live with my great Aunt, little brother, older sister and great uncle because our mother died when i was 8. I only want to meet him tell him what happened and live the life i always see others living...
please help!
Reply Sun 14 May, 2017 09:12 am
Because your mother is deceased, you will need to talk to her family and her classmates from that time period if she was in school, or coworkers if she was working. Be prepared for people to stonewall you.

Understand that this search may prove fruitless. Why? Because your biological father might be dead, in jail, or married to someone else. There are other reasons that a father would not be in the picture other than (according to you) running away.

Your mother might have had more than one lover and simply didn't know who was the father. She might have been the victim of rape and/or incest. Your father could have been married (as I noted above). He could have been a one-night stand whose name she never really knew.
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Reply Sun 14 May, 2017 10:54 am
I'm going to echo Jespah's sentiments. I would start asking friends and family what they know about him, what was the story with him, what happened, etc. Adults tend to feel like they should protect children so you may not get the answers you need because they don't want to hurt you. You may also find out things you didn't want to hear.

I would recommend talking to a counselor, maybe at school, and get some one on one guidance with processing through this. I know you want to meet your dad, I empathize with you totally, but I feel like you may need some support along the way.
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