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Mon 8 Nov, 2004 10:46 pm
I have been with my boyfriend for a while now but i am tired of the way we have arguements and them not being resolved,
I just end up feeling silly and not taken seriously. When there is an arguement he always says, i didnt say that or thats not what i meant, and i feel even worse for ever getting upset in the first place. I feel i am the one always having to mince my words and compromising the way i feel for him.
I know that you cant change someone, but it would be nice to be met half way.
Today we had a silly arguement in the mall at lunch, and i said i dont appreciate him wasting my time and walked off, i am really busy at work and dont have time for him to mess me around. So i said you go and do what you like for lunch and i will see you later. He sendsme a text message telling me to get F**ked. and that he is sick of the way i am so fickle when he said this is what he wanted to do for lunch and i was aware of that. He totally changed what he said on me, and got mad at me for ever having an issue in the first place.
I got back to work and was sitting at my desk nearly in tears. I cant believe he toldme to get *****d. and then changed what he said. I am so tired of being made to look like an idiot. 20 mins before the arguement he was telling me he loved me. How can you say i love you then within a few minutes tell me to get f****d?
He called me after that and i stood my ground about why i got upset at being stuffed around then he got mad and said it was my fault i didnt listen to him and if i say stupid things to him then he is going to tell me where to go... then i tried talking and he hung up on me
then he tried calling again and i didnt pick it up, so he sent me an email saying that i shouldnt fight him as i have put him through enough already and he doesnt have any fight left in him
I wasnt trying to fight him, i got annoyed that he was stuffing me around at lunch when i really couldnt afford the time away from work for that. Then he tells me to get f***ked...
I dont have the energy for this. I wish he would apologise to me for speaking to me like that, but he wont, he will pretend as if nothing has happened tomorrow and it will just happen again in a couple of days an i am so tired of feeling like i am stupid for getting upset at things like this.
Why are men like this?
Not all men are like this lilly, and I'm afraid your boyfriend
does not respect you. It is not acceptable for him to address you in such a vulgar manner, or anyone for that matter.
He doesn't apologize to you because you have never
stood your grounds with him and let this happen - over
and over again.
He's treating you like a doormat and you let it happen,
unless you change, he won't change.
Men aren't like this...total pricks are like this.
Seriously, that's not something you say to your girlfriend or boyfriend without expecting to be dumped. You should can his ass. If you don't, expect to settle down with a miserable life by getting stuck with guys like that.
I agree with Slappy, get rid of him. It's obvious you want to. You seem like you are waiting for others to tell you what you already know. Guys like this don't change, trust me, I wasted 5 YEARS of my life with a man just like this and he will NEVER change. Stand your ground and tell him to take his own advice and get F****d.
I followed your advice Aldistar and he is being a jerk to me, so i sent him an email telling him to get f***ked.
he replied saying fine if thats how i am going to treat him then he doesnt want to be with me anyway
Whats the bet he will call me later tonight and act like nothing is wrong? grrr, i am so sick of him. I have my cell phone turned off and i am going to a friends house tonight. He needs to know that i am standing my ground this time.
thats my work phone ringing now, with his number. i am not picking it up....
what to do?
get a life with a new boyfriend...life is too short to be stuck with someone who treats you like shite..if you can change your phone # unless you want to keep seeing this jerk and being treated like crap..
You can either be one of those girls that lets herself get walked on her whole life by guys, or you can learn to have a head on your shoulders....which would you want to be described as?
I don't think you really need any more advice than you've been given on this thread.
Lilly, he sounds like a miserable person in general, who lacks proper communication skills, which by the way is THE most important aspect of a relationship.
The sooner you move on the better off you will be.
This isn't love, Lilly. People who love each other are patient and kind. Don't settle for less.
If my husband told me to get f*cked, I'd tell him fine...but it wouldn't be with him. Go find someone else who respects you.
I got a text message from him this morning, saying he is sick and has a headache and probably wont be going into work today, and not to call him unless i am going to be nice, until then he has nothing to say.
What a JERK!!! he is the one being a dick to me. He always plays the i am sick, i cant go to work today whenever we have a fight. How immature.
It would be so nice for him to say i am sorry i spoke to you that way, instead i get this, i have wasted three years with this jerk, to be taken for a complete idiot.
Quote:have wasted three years with this jerk, to be taken for a complete idiot.
Well lilly, you're not doing to good in that department
either. If you want to be respected than you've got to
get rid of the saucy language as well honey.
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:Men aren't like this...total pricks are like this.
Seriously, that's not something you say to your girlfriend or boyfriend without expecting to be dumped. You should can his ass. If you don't, expect to settle down with a miserable life by getting stuck with guys like that.
Amen, Slappy!! This guy has jerked your chain long enough and the more you let it happen, the more he will take advantage of it. I'd suggest not answering his calls, not returning his messages, deleting any emails he sends to you without reading them and making a clean break. If he seeks you out at work, excuse yourself and say you are really busy and walk away. If he asks to talk to you at a future time, again tell him you are really busy and don't know if and when you might be free to do that. You don't have to mean or angry about any of it. Just be matter of fact and stick to your guns. Turn and walk away, girl.
i often find myself in the same postion. However a few weks agaon i just told him if i heard those words one mpr time i was leaving and i think it worked i think men sometimes nned the shock factor. it was hard but i dont dsesevre to be spoekn to like that and neither do you.tell him how you feel and if doesnt respect that then i woudl re considr.
Lady J has it right. Call your cell phone company and have his number blocked. Once he hears that recorded message that his calls are no longer allowed he should wise up real fast. He'll realize that you are finally serious and then he will either call a few times and just stop are will start to pursue you more intensely.
Tell your boss what has happened and say that if he comes around your work place you will nicely ask him to leave and if he doesn't you can have security escort him out because at that point he will be trespassing. This can save your job, because if he comes around looking for you and an argument starts you could get fired. When I finally broke it off with my ex I warned my boss that if he came into my work to bother me and didn't leave when asked that I would leave the floor and go to the break room until he left. My boss said this was OK and was grateful for the heads up.
Also let any mutual friends know that if he is invited you won't be showing up. It kind of sucks, but a clean break from guys who act like this is best, otherwise you will keep letting yourself get dragged back into the drama.
Don't let anyone take away your self-esteem, it is yours. Never accept this kind of verbal abuse, get rid of him.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~~Eleanor Roosevelt
Get rid of him.
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