The "Dead Fish"

the only thing worse then the dead fish is the clammy dead fish...

You've obviously never experienced the dead clam...

I was reading about Jim Norton, one of my favorite comedians, doing this at a Hollywood party filled with celebrities. Except he had a glass of water with him, would dip his hand in the water first.

The cold wet dead fish.

So glad this went into humor instead of pets, like "Where can I buy midget food?"

Oh, kicky...you never do mince your words, do you? Loved the subtlety!

I gotta tell ya, even from a woman's vantage point the dead fish handshake gives me the creeps big time! I think it is even worse in business relations than social situations. Social situations are almost forgivable, but in business? Never! If I have a male salesman is calling on me and actually wants me to buy any of his wares, he darn well better get the handshake right. I have actually gotten the dead fish from several and when it happens, I hold onto their hand longer and tighter than they are comfortable with, look them right in the eye, unblinking and say, "You don't have to be afraid to shake my hand and if you do want my business, as I am assuming you do, we better get off on the right foot straight away."

Do you think that is mean?

went to a funneral today, went downthe line and started shaking the hands. came up to a guy in the navy... he gave me the dead fish... i almost laughed

Sometimes I like to put out my hand, as if to shake, and then slip them the "slack eel."

Also sometimes referred to as the "tiny noodle."

This can be a lot of fun, as long as you play it safe, and remember this maneuver is against the law.

And you might get your d*ck cut off.

Gargamel, do you happen to pull this maneuver often at rest stops, and night clubs with dark tinted windows?

I find no reason to be so secretive about it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

It has been a particularly useful trick at local playgrounds, and Hardee's--home of the delicious thickburger.

No, there's nothing to be ashamed up, after all, it's just done for the goof. Like sodomizing your roomate in his sleep with a can of Pepsi...for the goof.

Seriously, us jokesters/sodomites have a duty to keep things lively for all the squares. Otherwise life would be such a bore.

Slappy, I don't want to throw your thread off track here, but I wanted to make sure you saw this.

In my search for the Paris Hilton video, I ended up downloading a lot of bullshit vids, and one of them is an old favorite of mine. Ever heard of Heather Brooke? I am betting that you've seen her work, but if you haven't, do yourself a favor and check her out.

No, I don't know Heather Brooke...she a porn star? I'll look her up, but I can't download porn on my computer, it's my company's laptop.

Plus, porn makes women out to be pieces of meat. I'm more into their sparkling personalities, and how many kids they want to have.

Yeah, she's a porn star. Hot and cute, and very talented...let me know what you think of her.

I only saw a couple pictures of her...looks very cute. However, her face was partially blocked by a baby's arm or something.

You can't truly appreciate her until you see her in action.

geez.

Seriously,

This was an insightful and educational thread, but somewhere it took a sick turn.

Grow up you guys.

The dead fish handshake is only funny if you put mayonaisse in your palm first.