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Rewrite this ad copy--help, please! Deadline Monday!

 
 
Reply Sun 7 Nov, 2004 10:52 pm
Hi, sorry for the urgency here, but I have a deadline tomorrow for an ad I'm writing. I know the jist of what I want to say, but it doesn't "flow."

Here is the jist of what I need to say (this is for a carpet, rug, upholstery cleaning/washing business--target market is millionaires or those who have a true appreciation for quality):

*Cleaning & Sealing of your fine carpet, rugs, and upholstery.
*Hand washing of Oriental and other fine rugs and tapestries.
*We are skilled in all fabrics and weaves
*We have all cleaning methods available so your goods are treated with what's right, not what's available.

In particular, I need a rewrite of the last line. But if you have other ideas for the rest, I'll listen to those, too. Surprised)

FYI, the meaning of the last line is that we have, and are skilled at, all cleaning methods. You will be familiar with at least one of these: Hot Water Extraction, Steam Cleaning, Bonnet, Oscillating Pad, Very Low Moisture, Dry Compound (both absorption and adsorption), Immersion Washing, Dry Solvent.

Problem is, I don't want the ad to be verbose. It's only a 7.5" x 4.75".

Thanks,

GT
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roger
 
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Reply Sun 7 Nov, 2004 11:35 pm
If you're going to use a bulleted list, it looks real good from here. I would try to slip in the word "experience" a time or two.


You're right. "*We have all cleaning methods available so your goods are treated with what's right, not what's available." needs touching up.

Possibly. . . "We use the cleaning method appropriate to your situation, not whatever is available." That doesn't sound like it's there yet, either, but ". . . methods available. . . " almost sounds like there are maybe some good ones that don't happen to be available to you.

Still, it looks good, and you would probably be okay with the original copy.
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