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Fri 28 Apr, 2017 06:56 am
About a year ago I met a man at the gym (I'm a female, 25, he's a male, 27), and we instantly had amazing chemistry. I thought that we were on the right track, but then he casually mentioned that he had a girlfriend. I backed up, but we remained friends. However , the chemisty stayed. We slowly got to know each other very well, and we spent a lot of time together (and sometimes our meetings felt like dates, we had romantic dinners, and such). We flirt nonstop on snapchat. Sometimes we totally stepped out of the line of friendship (but we've never had sex).
I thought that maybe they were not together anymore with his girlfriend, but as it turned out, they were, and they still are. A couple of times I met her, and they seemed cold with each other, and they didn't even touched each other (especially not like he touches me sometimes).
Now, I have no idea, where we are. What we are doing is not right, but I can't stop doing it. When I try to ask him about the nature of our relationship, he never answers. Am I just a plan B for him, or is something else? What does he want from me? What does his behaviour mean?
@Josieieie,
It means that he is happily having his cake and eating it, too, and you are enabling him.
If I were you, I would tell him to step off the next time he tried something or crossed the friendship line, if he is still in a relationship with someone else.
I would also be looking at other guys, not just for romance but for friendship as well.
Don't put all your relationship eggs into this particular basket.
'Now, I have no idea, where we are.'
well - here it is:
He is committed to another woman.
You are the "other woman."
Change gyms.
@Josieieie,
Just repeating what has been said for the sake of clarity on your part...
This guy is playing you and cheating on his girlfriend. By participating you are allowing him to save face and ego and not end his current relationship. I would stay away from him. Remember, if he's doing it now, he'll probably do it to the next girl too (and you are next in line).
Think of your actions like this: If you couldn't be completely honest with HIS girlfriend about the nature of your relationship....It's wrong.
Also - I have no idea why the word 'complicated' is a part of this at all.
There's nothing complicated, new, or unique about this. The guy is trying to cheat on his girlfriend with you. Period.
@jespah,
I know exactly that there's nothing new or unique about it. But here's what I find complicated: I've met several men, who were willing to cheat on there girlfriend/wife, and actually did it. But this guy never did. Now, I'm a bad person, I wouldn't say no to him if it would come to that. We crossed lines, as I said, but he always stops, before we actually have sex. If this was about cheating his girlfriend with me, I wouldn't have questions. But if he doesn't even want to cheat, then what does he want?
@Josieieie,
To string you along until his girlfriend breaks up with him (because he's to weak to end it himself) or until he musters up the courage to actually cheat.
Why don't you ask him why he stays with this other girl, when he clearly is giving off signals to other women (there could be others besides you, you know) that he is available ?
But more importantly, why do you accept "sloppy seconds"?
Just a sexual attraction? Look around more at another gym.
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