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Why don't people like me? I am an attractive female and all of my life I have had conflicts with people not liking me. I am thinking its mostly jealously. I have a kind heart and I don't steal like or decieve. What is it?

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Perhaps this is your perception of yourself?

What makes you think people don't like you?

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Why don't you ask the people who dislike you?
Maybe you'll get some insight what's bothering them
and can change appropriatley.

Being attractive alone doesn't buy the ticket,
charme and being friendly and helpful are not to
be overlooked trades that makes a person
loving and nice to be with.

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The only way you'll learn the answer is asking people. We don't know you, so we can't tell you why.

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flufgirl, I am going to tell you the same thing my mother told me when I asked her that question years ago.

"Well, silly, whoever told you that everybody is going to like you?!"

<thud>

No matter how nice you are, how attractive you are, or how well you treat others, there will ALWAYS be people who just don't like you. And you can't make them, so don't waste your time trying. Just ignore them as best you can, and concentrate on the people who DO like you.

This kind of self-consciousness does no good. So just be yourself, and relax. You'll find that as you stop always trying to please others, you'll actually get along better with most people.

I know, because it worked for me.

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Usually people do not like you because people do not like people who seem to have what they have or more of it. We usually hate others qualities in people that are similar to our own or so I heard.

Maybe ... your Too good ,your too good.your too good, baby your too good".

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Flugirl, I already don't like you.

I'm sorry, that's not true. I've lied to you, and I've lied to everyone else here. But most of all, I've lied to myself.

I've always had a crush on you, ever since I read your description of yourself... attractive... female... and I guess I'm just scared to admit my feelings.

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I have a pretty full on personality that only a very rare person can take to, or appreciate. I am wired to enjoy contact with people but have a personality which repels the vast majority of people. It might not be the same situation for you, but I do relate to how you are feeling.

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Are you aloof? Sometimes when one has low self esteem (in spite of your good looks) that person appears aloof, or "stuck up" in social situations. Being attractive, compounds the problem.

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Excellent advice from Eva.

Also, one of the best ways to get people not to like you is to look around the room and say "nobody likes me." There are a lot of behaviors associated with this that people pick up on and find off-putting. I know it's almost impossible to tell yourself not to think something -- "don't think of a white elephant" -- but it's self-perpetuating. The more you think "nobody likes me", the more likely it is to be true.

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Do you happen to look like a hobbit?

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nobody like me...not even my mirror syndrome

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I have a similar problem, and I think mine stems from having expectations that are too high. People don't dislike me, par se, however I have lived in my current city for 3 years now and still do not have any friends. aquaintences, yes but no real friends. I guess I am very picky about friends and I would assume that people pick up on this. Also, I too have a strong personality that a lot of people just don't know what to do with.

It is very lonely, I know. I'd look into why you think people don't like you or if in actuality people just don't understand you.

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SCoates wrote:

Flugirl, I already don't like you.

I'm sorry, that's not true. I've lied to you, and I've lied to everyone else here. But most of all, I've lied to myself.

I've always had a crush on you, ever since I read your description of yourself... attractive... female... and I guess I'm just scared to admit my feelings.

One of those days when coates gives me belly-laughs.

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Sort of disappointed in the lack of "warm welcome" extended to flufgirl on her very first post by a few seasoned and veteran members (certainly not all!). It was my first post too. And I am wondering why these people feel the need to prey on another's vulnerability to feel good? As girls, we are taught before we get out of nappies that if we are attractive we will be accepted.

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Jacinta wrote:

And I am wondering why these people feel the need to prey on another's vulnerability to feel good? As girls, we are taught before we get out of nappies that if we are attractive we will be accepted.

And I wonder people's need to prey on the internet fishing for compliments and to feed their insecurities with happy thoughts.
And my hobbit question is legit. If you look like a small creature that lives under a bridge, you might not get the best reception from people.

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Yeah, I suppose it depends on which way you look at it. I saw flufgirl's topic as seeking constructive feedback, in order to make positive changes in her life. You saw it as "preying on the internet fishing for compliments to feed [her] insecurities with happy thoughts". I suppose we are all entitled to our own perception.

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Jacinta,
it is quite difficult to give someone feedback on such
a private matter without knowing the person. Yes, it
is is her first posting, but 4 lines don't give much information.

How could anyone make an educated guess, what could
be the matter with flufgirl or her attitude? She has not
responded since her first post and it doesn't look llike,
she will.

By the way, I'm semi new and I did get a very nice welcome, but my first posting was not in Relationships & Marriage and I did not seek advice, I went to the "new member " thread
and said hello there. Wink

Nonetheless, I welcome you Jacinta. Smile

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CalamityJane wrote:

By the way, I'm semi new and I did get a very nice welcome, but my first posting was not in Relationships & Marriage and I did not seek advice, I went to the "new member " thread
and said hello there. quote]

I'm sorry CalamityJane, I missed your first post.

Do you look like a hobbit? Welcome!

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My avatar is me! Do I look like a hobbit?

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