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Has my ex girlfriend daddy issues?

 
 
alecc
 
Reply Wed 26 Apr, 2017 01:17 pm
I met this girl a year ago and a half ago. We become friends and started dating and living together. We broke up last month due to different lifestyle and looking at life.

I've been having a coffee with a friend recently and he mentioned that one of his friends has daddy issues. After googling that, I started wondering if my girlfriend doesn't suffer from this too.

To start, she was 20yo student, I am a 28yo entrepreneur when we started dating. I was her 2nd boyfriend, when she was 17, she was dating a 38yo guy for almost 2 years. Father of my ex gf left the family when she was 5. She said that her father just left their home and never got back.

As I mentioned above, we were living together for a year and a half. During that time, I have noticed some behavior that I haven't seen at girls I've been seeing before nor at my friends.
My ex-gf doesn't have a true friend, even though she meet someone, after a while she starts highlighting the negative attributes of that person. She has a small circle of "friends" - 4 or 5 people who she text once in 3/6 months, but currently she's fighting (=not talking/texting) with them. When I told her to break the ice to text her friend after the fight, she said she's not gonna be the one who'll text first (and this happened also between us - when we had a fight early in the relationship, we didn't speak to each other for a while and I texted her. When were talking about that later why I texted her, I also asked her how long she would wait until she would text me - and she said she would not). She's constantly trying to put herself above someone - to prove she's better than her “friends”, either at life or at school (she's saying, for example, that this her "friend" is looking up to her and envy her her lifestyle, or she’s the most and most talented at her class etc.). When she meet someone, she call him or her immediately a friend (even though they saw each other once or twice for like 15-30mins).

When we are at home, she often complained that she feels alone, lonely and she has no friends to go for a drink etc. Eventually she's bringing this on me that I don't take her anywhere out (which is impossible as a working person to be out 7 days a week). She outlines how she feels not appreciated from me (from time to time) and so on.

She has very often (every week) emotional breakdowns and hysterical crying about school, herself, life (eg. when she needed to move out of her old apartment, when the teacher put some adequate pressure on her) etc. She’s still claiming how independent she is, what she has done, travelled, but the truth is that I have to help her with everything. Literarily everything. Or her mother. She's on the phone with her mother daily for 1-2 hours. She’s very insecure of herself and asking me if this is good or bad, if she treated this person good or bad and so on.

She's very suspicious to everybody - to people she meet as well as to me (no, she has no reason). She is very jealous - eg. when she had a roommate, she somehow came up with the thought that I like her roommate and she likes me and we want to have sex - it was obviously not truth. Same with guys - we were on a party and a guy started talking to me on a bar (just a small talk until our drinks are ready), my gf was sitting with some of my friends and I could feel her eyes on me. When we were walking home, she was questioning me for 15 minutes who was that guy and why he was talking to me. Then she mentioned that there was more guys who were trying to hit on me than on her.
When we were at home and I was tired from work or sometimes simply not in the mood, she was constantly asking me if I am not happy that she's in my apartment, if I am not happy with her etc.

I noticed that she's very sensitive about notes with her mental condition. Her teacher told her that she's not confident, she unstable and sometimes self-centric and my gf had another breakdown at home, was crying and for another week (during different situations and conversations) was randomly mentioning that she's not having any mental problems... Then during one of our fights I dropped a comment that "she has constructed a situation in her head" and she was firing this back at me for another couple days.

She’s dropping very often comments like “be a man, do this/that” or when we are in a cafe or restaurant and she wants something (eg. sugar), she’s immediately turning on me almost reproachfully with “I want some sugar, can I ask for it/tell the waiter??” - to me as a quite grounded person, it’s super unattractive that she cannot handle this on her own.

She was also quite oriented on money, she was buying expensive clothes even though she could afford it and always almost begging her mother to pay for it. She enjoyed highlighting what her life standard is, she even marked herself as the "top 1%" and said that (we were on a trip in Liverpool) that "most of this lower and middle class people has some motivation to get up, but for her it's difficult, because she's already there and has a different point of view (nope, she never worked)" - it was quite embarrassing (even now to type it).
Eventually all of this has become too much for me, so we had a talk and I told that I am not happy in the relationship and this and that simply doesn't work for me and we have to figure it out, otherwise I don’t see how to maintain if further. We agreed that we’ll take a couple of days to think about that and will get back together to discuss it. The next day, she just texted me saying that she's breaking up with me.

It’s two months now and since I had the talk about daddy issues with my friend, I am wondering about the relationship with this girl. What do you think about her based on the above (I tried to put it as objectively as possible, without any emotions)? I have never faced a girl anything like that, I was wondering if she has some troubles with herself, daddy issues...
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Wed 26 Apr, 2017 01:21 pm
Mother issues, more likely.

Spoiled, impatient, self centered, little princess, whiny, etc. etc.

You dodged a bullet. Be glad you are out of this one.
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