9 years together and he is unsure of marriage ?

So out of curiosity and sincerity, what's it like to live together with a partner 24/7?

I agree with you to a point. And like you said that is your experience.There are absolutely no guarantees in life and everyone is different. I hope you are very happy in your own relationship, Thanks again for your insight

Frantic,

I think you are ASSUMING a lot of what he thinks.

Go to some couples counseling sessions where he can express his feelings safely. You really need to find out what he says are his feelings.

I suggest a male counselor, too.

Hi FranticFox

I am just worried that he is not already that excited in your relationship. I am speaking based on what I experienced. I was engaged for 5 years and I was the one who broke up since I already feel bored about the relationship. Why? because I kept on delaying the marriage and always elude the topic when my boyfriend wants to talk about it. I was not so sure about him but I am happy being with him, talking to him, having fun with him... all the good stuffs to be included.. But when it comes to marriage topic, I really want to drop it it as I know I would hurt him by not answering "let's talk about it some other time." Before I decided to break up with him, I realized one thing- I don't really love him, I only enjoy his company.. I was not that excited anymore in bed but I have a lot of fun with him in terms of going on a trip, doing sports etc..

Maybe you can speak with your boyfriend about what he really wants your relationship to become. Other people just cannot take it when they know they would hurt other people's feelings. But I hope I am wrong... Just some points to ponder here sweetie.

I totally agree with you..

Your situation descibes my own almost perfectly, except I couldn't conjure up the courage to call it off. We have a child though, so that definitely complicated things. I'm not miserable, probably could be happier, but the situation is livable.