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Can a guy love 2 women at once?

Forums: Relationships
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ReiKi
 
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2004 06:31 pm
I would like your advice as to whether a man can love two women at the same time and if you think i should stick around?

Here are the stats:

-- he left her 12 months ago for me
-- he is jewish, I'm not (his family will not accept me)
-- he recently got back with her but is still seeing me

I feel torn between my heart and my head as I have very strong feelings for a man who recently got back with his ex after being involved with me for 12 months. He is clearly torn between two minds, I can see it in his eyes - he claims to be in love with each of us. But unfortunately its not black and white. I've tried to walk away on many occasions because this is affecting my person but we always find our way back to eachother - this really hurts...

What should I do? Sad
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,166 • Replies: 21
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InfraBlue
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2004 07:17 pm
Yes, a guy can love to women at once.

But if he's chosen to follow the wishes of his family and court a woman from within his religion, be prepared to be the second woman in his life.

She'll be the one he'll be seen with in public, in his family life, his religious life, etc.

You'll be the one he'll be with when he can make time, have a dinner or two, meet at a hotel, etc.

Choose wisely.
0 Replies
 
Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2004 07:53 pm
I know I sure the hell could love two women at once...oh, you mean, "IN love?!?!"

All I know is if you're going to let yourself get hurt if worse case happens(he dumps your ass), then you shouldn't be with this guy. If you're ok with being the other woman, then go for it.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Nov, 2004 07:54 pm
Yes, he can "love" two women at once.

He gets the attention--perhaps competing attention--of two women.

You and his Ex-ex each get half a man.

Does he tell you how difficult this situation (which he made) is for him?

Are you really only worth half a man?
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ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2004 07:51 pm
I know I deserve more than this, but walking away, and maintaining it, is proving quite difficult. It's like he wants to get caught on some level. He stayed the other night! Surely his gf would ask where he was..

I just don't get how a man can blatantly lie to someone he claims to love. No matter the outcome, there is no future for us. Clearly he can't be trusted.

How do I put this behind me? How do I forget about him? Everything i do reminds me of him. It's ridiculous! Argh!

(sorry I need to vent somewhere)
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2004 07:52 pm
no problem...one for the hips...one for the lips....
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ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2004 08:00 pm
hahahaha, that's just wrong.. But thanx.. I needed a good laugh.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2004 08:18 pm
Rei--

Vent here.

Unfortunately for you and for the Ex-ex--this guy's love life is all about him.

Yes, he's made promises--but the whole situation is very difficult for him because he loves you both. Forget about the heartache of two women--let's all talk about him suffering in the situation he set up.,

Get rid of him--and find a man who plays by the rules.

P.S.

Suppose his Ex-ex ditches him first? Do you really want to be The Winner by Default?
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ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Sun 14 Nov, 2004 09:48 pm
I know I've got to let go.. I have accepted this much. The longest I've lasted is about five days, then I buckle - I miss him terribly. And all that good work goes down the drain.

What can I do to help get over and forget him? Call ~my~ ex? hehe J/K
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2004 09:27 am
How far in the past is your ex? Did you get caught up in this relationship on the rebound?
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blueveinedthrobber
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2004 09:29 am
Noddy24 wrote:
Rei--

Vent here.

Unfortunately for you and for the Ex-ex--this guy's love life is all about him.

Yes, he's made promises--but the whole situation is very difficult for him because he loves you both. Forget about the heartache of two women--let's all talk about him suffering in the situation he set up.,

Get rid of him--and find a man who plays by the rules.

P.S.

Suppose his Ex-ex ditches him first? Do you really want to be The Winner by Default?


no rules in love or war....
0 Replies
 
ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2004 05:34 pm
Oh no no no.. we were well and truly over when I met the guy in question.

In fact, it took me completely by surprise. I didn't even ~like~ him at first. He's not the typical guy I would fall for. So in reality it should be a simple for me to move on - but its not.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2004 05:49 pm
By coincidence, I came across this quote from Ovid (Remedia Amoris) about a half an hour ago:

"Love yields to business. If you seek a way out of love, be busy; you'll be safe, then."

All this time you've built your emotional universe around him and now there are great gaping holes you have to fill with something--or someone else. As for "someone else" you certainly don't need a rebound romance right now.

Overtime at work? New hobby? Old hobby? Friends you've neglected because of Mr. I Love You Both?

Ovid knew the Arts of Love.
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ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2004 09:07 pm
and apparently so do you.

*clutches heart*

Smile All I can do is smile at that...

You truly ~are~ a genius

Thank you.
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 01:31 pm
Rei-Ki--

Thanks for the kind words--even if they belonged originally to Ovid.

Hold your dominion.
0 Replies
 
ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 04:19 pm
I'm trying. We'll see how I go today, and tomorrow and the next day, and so on. If i don't feel...compelled to contact him ever again, i'm in no immediate danger, to myself. Hehe. Your words inspired me more than you'll know, Noddy. I printed them off and read them often. Last night I told him that there can be no more communication between us. It was very hard, on both of us. But this morning I received an email from him. Arrrgh!!! This is my test. I must be strong and not reply. *must keep re-mind-ing myself of this*
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 04:31 pm
Rei-Ki--

Keep on being uppity and firm-minded and you'll be up, over the wall, and out of the harem.

Hang in there.
0 Replies
 
ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 05:27 pm
Bah! If only i paid more attention in my 7th grade French class!
0 Replies
 
Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 05:32 pm
I doubt that high school Latin ever devoted a great deal of time to the wisdom of Ovid.
0 Replies
 
ReiKi
 
  1  
Reply Tue 16 Nov, 2004 05:47 pm
Ahh, but it would enable me to translate his words...
0 Replies
 
 

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