Cheating fiance,am I overreacting?

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My live in fiance keep contacting his ex gf they text,video call each other.i told him that don't like him calling or texting her and he told me that she's the one who keeps on calling him . This has been going on since last year. When you I confront her she said she will do whatever she wants wit him. I really think they do meet.last week we had a huge fight because she video called him early in the morning while we were still sleeping and she know that we live together.when i asked him why she's calling u, he said he doesnt know and they haven't talked for a while. This week when I was busy using his pc i stumble on his Facebook I'm not a snooper but I was just curios when I opened his messages I saw that he has been calling her not even once. When I ask him why did he lie to my face when I asked him about him contacting her,he said he doesn't know what I'm talking about and why was I opening his messages. Why would he contact a woman that hurt me so much and break our relationship even if she's just a friend? I got really angry and pissed I smashed all his expensive phones.now his not talking to me and I'm still mad because he lied to me over and over again and never apologize. Do u think I overreacted ?

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@Broken-girl,

Yes you did. Destroying his property and snooping on his FB account is a bit too much. Simply put, if you do not like him having so much contact with his ex, you sit down and talk to him about it. After all, he can always block her on his phone and that would be the end of it. If the excessive contact continues and is unacceptable to you, then you end the relationship and move out. Simple.

As an aside, I do not see it as a big deal that a person in a relationship talks periodically to an ex. Maybe they see each other as friends. Nothing wrong with that as long as he is honest with you about it. Basically, the two of you have to agree on how much contact is acceptable and limit it to that, assuming you are willing to even go that far. There should not be too much contact where you feel she is more important than you but at the same time his maintaining some contact with her should not lead to you being jealous.

And you do not need to speak to her about her contacting your guy. This is an issue for you and your BF to deal with. Not you and her.

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@CoastalRat,

I have no issue with you snooping on FB in instances where they show strong signs of deceit / untrustworthiness (otherwise there should not be any reason to do so). But I seem to be in the minority here with such views in relation to privacy.

Nor do I have any issue with you getting upset with his behaviour, though I wonder how good friends they are, which is something you haven't covered (some people remain very good friends afterwards, which could explain his & her behaviour).

In terms of how you handled it- you could have handled it better (we can all improve in one area or another). In this one, you talk to the person. You stand up for your emotional needs. You consider his perspective. You try to work it out.

If it doesn't work out no matter how much you try, you move one.

But you don't destroy his belongings.

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Do u think I overreacted ?

Yes, you should have just walked out.

(He is in complete control of how much control this other woman has in his life. If he is engaged to you, then he needs to put all other women to the side now. Obviously, this woman has motives. He has encouraged her nonsense.)

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Cheating fiance,am I overreacting?

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