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Tue 2 Nov, 2004 09:30 am
Hi,
I need some advice on my relationship. It has been about 6 months now we have met. Moved in with him after a weak. We have a good sex life we like the same things for the most part, I like some things as just a play once in a while and he is obsessed with it. I try to do everything to make him happy. The house always clean, dinner on the table the animals taken care.Up until a week ago he received oral pleasure at least 4 to 5 times a day. Sex when ever he wanted it. How he wanted. I am the fixer personality who wears the heart on the sleeve. Well all I do now is cry, I try to talk to him he doesn't hear a word I say. When i attempt to communicate he says he doesn't need this drama and I explain it's not drama it is me trying to tell him how I feel , What IIIII need not what he needs. He focusses on what he needs never on me. He constantly takes my phone and checks it listining to my messages accusing me of cheating and not commiting. I don't go out with my friends at bars hell I don't even see them , I haven't seen my best friend in months. I feel alone in this relationship very alone.
Any advice on how to fix or whether I should just quit?
He sounds very controlling, probably not a good thing. Keep us informed, and please add any more information you wish to share. My immediate instinct is to get out. It sounds like he has control issues, and a possible sex addiction.
giver taker
You're a giver; he's a taker.
You cater to all of his needs.
Do you have any needs of your own?
You're feeling alone and you don't have any friends. Actually, you've abandoned your friends in order to cater to HIM. He doesn't want you to have any friends; he controls you through his unreasonable distrust. He monitors your phone calls.
(How in the hell do you have time for any friends when you're pleasuring him 24/7?)
He won't communicate with you. He doesn't care how you feel.
Are you his partner or his prisoner, sex slave, cook & maid?
Don't marry him. Start planning your escape!
Thank you all so much. I have planned my escape all ready. I just needed to know that it wasn't me. I went to the site advised and oh my God I can't stop crying because it is me and even after growing up the physical and mental abuse , I still without even realizing it became my grandmother.
I thank you all again. You were all so right!!!
Jenn
I am 32 5'3 blu eyes brown hair. I am a pretty good catch and yet I end up with these men and Iknow it is toescape my family life. I know I need to live alone now and be with me. The famliy and kids I dream of will come some dayl
Of course they will, JLC! Don't doubt it for a minute. But don't ever settle for less than you deserve.
Does this man seem physically threatening? If so, call a women's shelter or agency...they can help you leave safely.
Go, JLC. Your follow-up posts show that you know what the deal is, and what you need to do. It'll take some courage. But you can make it, escape the cycle. Good luck, and keep in touch!
Get going JLC, YOUR life is waiting for you.
JLC--
Change is hard--but you've started by seeing the need to change.
Good luck. Let us know how things are going.
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