How You Know that Your Employer has Changed to a Cheaper HMO

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The Top Ten Indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper HMO

10. Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

9. Directions to your doctor's office include: "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

7. The only proctologist in the plan is "GUS" from Roto-Rooter.

6. The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage

is "an apple a day."

5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you

gave to Goodwill last month.

4. The guideline that reads: "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

3. The only expense that is covered 100% is embalming.

2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little M's on them.

And the number One sign that you've joined a cheap HMO:

1. You ask for Viagra and you get a Popsicle stick and duct tape.