Depression, low self-esteem and I hate my life

First, please excuse my English, because I am hungarian, English is not my first language. 
So, I am girl and I am so in love with another girl who doesn't even know I exist, because she's a celebrity. She is the love of my life for a year and my love grows up every single day. I am so depressed because I cannot meet her and be her girlfriend. (I live in Hungary and she lives in South Korea, anyway she is straight etc). Maybe I seem just a fangirl, but I love her more than I love my life. People say she probably has a boyfriend. Yesterday, when I read an article with her and a possible boyfriend I went to another room, I locked the door, I sat on my knees and started crying, while screaming "why?! Why is this happening?! Girl (saying her name), I love you!!! Why can't I tell you how much I love you?! I think I'm gonna kill myself" . I couldn't stop crying for one hour. I was so jealous, I've never been jealous before knowing about her existence. This is not the first time I cry because of this. She is different, I love her very much, I cannot express with words how much I love her!! Yeah, I know what you think, I'm crazy. I know this is not ok. I am not okay! I know that she's a human like me, and she has a private life! But it's hard... 
Can someone help me ?! I wanna learn to accept life as it is and deal with it. She'll never be my girlfriend. First, I thought I just admire her and nothing more. But no! I do not admire her. I don't wanna be like her, she is not my role model, I don't wanna look like her or something. I just want her! I want every part of her. I began to have fantasies. I imagine how good it would be to meet her and then she would keep me tight in her warm hands...then we would kiss and be together all night...you know...I cannor bear it anymore. I often cry...my self-esteem has been low since I was born, but it's getting lower and lower. Please, help me.