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Mon 6 Mar, 2017 04:39 pm
Hi Guys, hopefully someone around here is able to give me some advice,.
I've been dating a guy for a little bit more than 4 months , we met a a month after we both ended our LTR's ... we talked once by Grindr and we both shared our Instgram accounts .- 3 weeks later he sent me a request by FB along with a cute message saying he would like to keep in contact and maybe grab a drink anytime soon which we did a week after that ...... we talked EVERY DAY since the day we met and we immediately started dating .- a month & a half later he said to me that he was having the best time and that he would love to keep dating me but was clear enough to mention that he was not looking for a relationship, at the time I was ok with it since again, I ended a relationship just 2 months before that so it sounded like a great idea.
So .... as you might expect by now, I started developing feelings for him and just 2 days ago he said to me that he love me..... I wouldn't mind starting a relationship with him now but I am afraid that if I go ahead and"make the question" to make it oficial he would freak out and leave... also, the only reason why I am not doing it is because I cannot stop thinking about the " I am not looking for a relationship now " and that was 3 months ago ... we've been dating for 4 months and we have plans of traveling together in the near future.
Honestly, I am not sure if it would be smart thing to do to go ahead and ask him to be my BF and just get rid of the anxiety, or should I just chill the **** out and enjoy whatever this non-officialy-loving-pseudo-relationship this is.
Thanks!!
@BlueAriesMTY,
Note: I am not gay and cripes, the last time I was dating someone not my spouse was over 28 years ago.
Still!
Maybe give it a hard deadline. Say, six months. That's a reasonable and definite amount of time.
Say something like, "Steve (or whatever his name is), we've been having such a great time for a while now. And that vacation was terrific! I was thinking - hoping - we could call it something more official. Is that okay with you?"
And see what happens. Good luck!
Personally, I don't see a need to put a label on it. I honestly don't know what it means to "make something official"
If he says he loves you, and if you feel/say the same, well then, you're 2 people in love.
I've been in 3 significant relationships in life, living with someone, a short marriage, and a long current marriage.
In none of them did anyone ever say something about "making it official" or "are we in a relationship?"
I guess the actions said it all.
@chai2,
except for tax and benefits purposes.
@farmerman,
Well yeah. I'm talking about pre deciding to get married. I was aware of those benefits when making that decision, but at that stage of life that was more like lagniappe.
There just wasn't a time where we had to have "the talk" as to if we were exclusive. It was self evident by the facts that we continued to see each other, and didn't take up with anyone else.
Seems to me if you were seeing someone and either one of you continued to see other(s) there's your answer. If neither one of you are, there's your answer too.
@chai2,
Quote: life that was more like lagniappe
I love it when you talk dirty
@farmerman,
Laissez les bons temps rouler farmer
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