Always available

So as a guy, if I told you I hated you, would you want to date me? My personal opinion is that this sort of attitude towards relationships opens you up to a lot of manipulation.

Commitment issues, baby! :-)

Sorry for being flip, but I've seen that over and over amongst my friends (yeah, just my friends, I never had this problem... ahem...)

It's a way to go through the fun and excitement of dating with, counterintuitively, less risk. If the available one is available, you might actually end up in a relationship!

I think you said you're just 21, so that's less of an issue than if you're 41 (but still only an issue if being in a relationship is a goal -- if you WANT to be single, more power to ya.)

What has happened after things are "fine"? How long has it lasted then?

not at all. It's never intentional, but as a general rule, that's what happens. The 50 mile radius thing what just to make a point, don't take it literally!

sozobe, as for what happened after things were fine, well for example my ex-bf and I staied together for about 2 years. and when we split up it was well because we were both changing and stuff, but we're still great friends. (and yes, he was hard to get )

I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm only 21 and I tend to take thinks as they come along. If I meet someone, and I like him, I usually go for it, but I'm not waisting my days and nights looking for dates

Sounds fine to me. :-)

Anyway, yeah, I was terrible about that. I was one of those awful girls who would target a guy just to see if I could get him -- and then once I did, I'd lose interest. My lasting relationships have all been with people who pursued me. Ah well, worked out fine in the end. (Been with husband 12yrs+.)

Well, at least we are clear on things now. I didn't take it literally.

If you are not looking for a relationship, then don't worry about it. You like the aloof boys, maybe even the bad boys. No problem. Enjoy! You seem pretty balanced for someone who is 21.

There are others who feel like you do. My wife, for example. She thought I hated her at first, but pursued me, and I succumbed to her charms. I was "available" but cautious, that is, hard to get. So, it is possible to get into a relationship by being a bit aggressive with those cautious boys.

The thing is I usually don't lose interest. I don't know if it's because I invested a lot into the thing or maybe I'm genuinely interested in the first place ... one of life's cruel mysteries

cavfancier, no it's not a problem now. I guess it could be a problem in the (distant ) future... and liking bad boys used to be a problem for my parents

is everyone on this forum married?

Nope. Wide variety of ages and marital status.