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Mon 25 Oct, 2004 12:11 pm
This is long, but i will try to recap as short as i can. I was married in april 2002 at 23-my husband was 23 also. We lived together for a year and after a year my H decided he didnt want to be with me anymore. He is in the military and he called me from another state to tell me that he didnt love me and felt that my stressed out behavior was out of line and unreasonable and i was never going to change. This was July 2003 and we are still not divorced...I have now seen him 3 times since july '03. First time we just had dinner, 2nd time we had dinner, the ended up having sex, and i saw him yesterday and the same thing happened. I still love him and he told me yesterday that he loves me too. I asked him if he thought we had a chance of staying together, he said yes. But he said he is weary on getting back with me and is afraid the same thing will happen again. He feels that i can be "bitchy" and hard to get along with, but thinks i'm the greatest when i'm in a good mood. I really do love him, i feel like he's the one and he says he feels the same and that he'll always come back to me. He asked, where do want to go from here?
I jsut dont entirely know...i would be afraid of him just leaving me again...he has broken up with me twice now so obviously there is a problem. If we ever did get back together my family does not like him at all...I"m sure they would have to get used to it, but it would be awkward telling everyone...what are your thoughts on getting back with an ex? I mean we are married...
Technically he isn't an ex. Why are you not divorced?
He is playing you like a fiddle. You are there for him when it is convenient for him but being married isn't about when it is convenient. It's about all the time, for better or worse.
My advice? Get a lawyer, sign the papers and move on. If he's done it twice the answer should be clear: he will do it again.
Quote:he called me from another state to tell me that he didnt love me
Quote:I have now seen him 3 times since july '03
Quote:he said he is weary on getting back with me and is afraid the same thing will happen again
I have to agree with Kristie. Get out of this one and fast!!! It looks as if he's just playing you.
You're in love with him so I can see why you hesitate... maybe give him an ultimatum. If he really loves you and wants to make things work, he won't let you go.
Take care
.
well i am not sure if we are getting back together. It's something we have been discussing. I figure there must be something holding us together if after a year we are still communicating and still love each other. I dont know if it's a matter of him being lonely. I have met other guys-none of them hold a candle to him. I know he has not treated me well, but i can be a difficult person to get along with. It's easy to tell someone to move on...i've tried, i'm just not. I really want to be with him.
mchalel
Exactly what did you do while you were together to make him afraid that you haven't changed and will do it again?
What changes do you need to make in order to resolve the issues that drove you apart in the first time?
Are you willing to make those changes?
You said he's afraid the same thing will happen again and that he sais you're hard to get along with.
If you really want to make it work with this guy the best thing would be to talk things over. Ask him what bothers him and what you should change in your behaviour, but don't forget to mention that you're not exactly happy with the way he's been treating you either.
It takes two people to make a relationship work.
Re: thoughts of getting back wih ex
purple26 wrote:This is long, but i will try to recap as short as i can. I was married in april 2002 at 23-my husband was 23 also. We lived together for a year and after a year my H decided he didnt want to be with me anymore. He is in the military and he called me from another state to tell me that he didnt love me and felt that my stressed out behavior was out of line and unreasonable and i was never going to change. This was July 2003 and we are still not divorced...I have now seen him 3 times since july '03. First time we just had dinner, 2nd time we had dinner, the ended up having sex, and i saw him yesterday and the same thing happened. I still love him and he told me yesterday that he loves me too. I asked him if he thought we had a chance of staying together, he said yes. But he said he is weary on getting back with me and is afraid the same thing will happen again. He feels that i can be "bitchy" and hard to get along with, but thinks i'm the greatest when i'm in a good mood. I really do love him, i feel like he's the one and he says he feels the same and that he'll always come back to me. He asked, where do want to go from here?
I jsut dont entirely know...i would be afraid of him just leaving me again...he has broken up with me twice now so obviously there is a problem. If we ever did get back together my family does not like him at all...I"m sure they would have to get used to it, but it would be awkward telling everyone...what are your thoughts on getting back with an ex? I mean we are married...
see
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=791300#791300
I thought the plot was familiar.
purple26,
would you put spoiled milk back into the refrigerator
hoping it will be better tomorrow? Of course not!
Same principle applies to ex-spouses.
I might consider getting back together with the ex for a night ....but I'd have to make sure squinney didn't catch us......and I'd have to decide which ex.......ahhhh...forget it...too much drama....
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