Mon 13 Feb, 2017 02:12 am
So I used to have a really high sex drive and the first two years of our relationship we had a lot of sex, and it felt healthy. But then one year in I found out he was lying about watching porn.
We sorted it out, it was okay. Then I found out again he had been lying again. My trust was a little damaged at this point but I wanted it to work so got through it. Then around two years ago, I caught him again but actually found out the type of porn he watched: Shemale porn.
I was devastated and confused. I felt so shook, it was awful. He lied to me for the 3rd time and now I have thoughts like, how could he find me sexually attractive when he was wanking to men with boob jobs and plastic surgery.
I'll try clear up why this was such a huge deal. I suffer from very bad self esteem, and have always wanted plastic surgery on my face. Now he has told me since the start that I don't need it, that he hates the plastic celebrity look and that he thought I was beautiful, otherwise why would he be with me: his words.
And everytime I found out about the porn, he has always reassured me that he would never do it again and that he was so sorry.
After the shemale porn discovery it took me a few days to be able to talk about it with him. In the end he explained that porn was just an addiction/habit that he had gotten into and that after watching it since he was a teen, he started watching 'weird' porn since he got bored of other porn. He kept telling me that he wasn't really attracted to the men with boobs and lip fillers, that it was just a habit.
But since that happened two years ago, we've tried to have sex maybe 10 times. Some times I end up crying. I don't orgasm anymore and I don't feel turned on anymore. My sex drive is gone. We're only 23 years old right now. I hate this and I try and make myself want it again but I just can't feel like it with him.
I'm still attracted to him but I just don't feel comfortable/turned on when it comes to sex with him.
This next part, I haven't told him for obvious reasons, but I have sex dreams about my ex lover a lot. These are the only times I feel turned on. This both worries me but also makes me realise my sex drive isnt gone completely.
He's stayed with me even though our sex life is non-existent because he keeps saying that I'll heal with time and that it just takes time but it's been two years now.
Please please help.
Time to take your leave of this guy.
This is not going to get better on your part and how much do you want to bet he's still doing it.
At 23, both of you will survive this break.
Let's do this, compare your old lover to this guy you're with now. What do they have in common and what things do they not?
Also if you've lost your sex drive because your lover was watching shemale porn, then I don't agree. I think there are several other things "lacking" in this relationship, probably both physical and emotional that have nothing to do with Shemale porn.