I'm in a tough perdictament

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FI has been in Iraq for a year. Will return end of Dec/early Jan ...God-willing.

He will leave for CCC (Captain Career Course - advancement leadership) in either March or early May. We do not know. The military chooses for you.

I have a semester and summer left before I graduate.

After 6 months at CCC, he has an 80% chance of being re-deployed for a year in Iraq.

This basically means we'll be apart for 2 years. Unlike those who are long distance (he lives in D.C, I live in Maryland OR he lives in cali and I live in nevada), this is very different. He is not guaranteed computer access or telephone, and we can't hop on a plane to see each other. I don't even have a number to contact him for an emergency. I just have to rely on Red Cross to get to him.

Anyway, so we're tossing around the idea of me dropping out for a semester to live in the same town. Oh, did I mention that when he IS here, we're a few hours apart. My parents conveniently live a few houses down from him and would gladly house their daughter. Plus, his across the street neighbor wouldn't mind having a roomie since her husband is in Iraq.

What do you guys think?

When he leaves again for Iraq, I will have an entire year to finish school in the town I want. It's not just the degree I want, but I have a soft spot for the school itself. This will also allow us to save money for a down payment on a new house (him leaving for Iraq again). It will be tax-free money and he gets paid more in general due to the danger-factor.

We just feel it's important to be together/spend time together the few months we have before he possibly (again 80-90% chance) he is re-deployed immediately after finishing his 6 month CCC (schooling).

The 10% chance he doesn't go back to Iraq, he will be sent to Korea. I will go with him of course (my family is there). Then I will teach English since you don't need a degree for that and make good money. When that tour is over, he will get out of the military and we will return to our state. My school is located an equal distance from 3 major cities (the most likely places MOST people find jobs), so I or he can commute.

Would you do this considering the circumstances?

People change SO much while in Iraq as do the gf's/wives left behind.

Thanks a2k. Razz

edit: In the meantime, I plan on learning how to do Real Estate or intern. I was told I could get 6hrs credit working anywhere/any state as long as I get it approved with my school.

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Wow... that is a tough predictament.

If you were to stay in school how much would you be able to see him?

What would you be doing if you did take the semster off?

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Can you contact your school and find out about their leave of absence program? You probably don't have to drop out - explain what's going on, I'm sure you couldn't possibly be the first person in your predicament that they've heard of. This way, you would probably not lose aid or your place in the class - and the payoff time for student loans (if you have any) would most likely not start.

You can also find out if they would accept a few classes you took elsewhere, if you don't want to lose the time. You might be able to go to a local college near your folks' home as a kind of exchange student or visiting student. Most highly specialized classes probably would not transfer over, but basic stuff like Biology, Inorganic Chemistry, Accounting, English comp., Calculus, some History survey courses and foreign languages are a lot more likely to be transferred on a one-to-one credit basis (e. g. a 4-credit course translates into 4 credits back at your original school, rather than 2 or 3 credits).

I'm suggesting this because you probably won't be with your fiancé 24/7 and it will give you something to do when he's unavailable, and you won't lose time in getting your degree. Part-time could work, yes?

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jp, just the weekends, but did I mention that we are also planning a wedding in 6 months? So you can imagine what the weekends will be spent doing. This doesn't include pre-counseling along with an additional class the military makes you take (they want wives to understand the demands of marrying someone in the military). All of this is in his town, not the one I'm in. And if you add the weekends up until March, there aren't that many esp. if you include the times I have to leave early to study for an exam.

jespah, I'll have to look into that. The only classes I really have left are leadership classes for my rare degree (it's an agriculture/leadership degree not found in most schools). I have unfortunately completed the classes usually found on the net (math, biology, english, etc).

Tough, tough. (sigh)

okay, I have to leave for class, but I'll be back tonight. Smile

Thanks for the suggestions. i will have to talk to my advisor.

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Personally, and a lot of people might disagree with me but we need to face facts, I would drop out for a semester and be with him. This is going to sound harsh and horrible but you don't know if he will even come back and school will always be an option. If this were something other than the military, my stance would be much different. I would tell you to finish school first. But in this case, with Iraq being such a dangerous place to be, I would tell you to use every second you have with this man. God willing and let's pray he will be back to you safe and sound in no time. But realistically, he has a dangerous job and I would take every chance I got to be with him. But that's just me. I really hope you find a workable solution to your problem and I feel for you. Sad

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I say go for it. Just make sure you get back to finish school.

I don't think you would ever regret taking the time to spend it with the person you love, but you would regret, god forbid, not taking the opportunity when you had the chance and never getting another chance.

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Exactly Jpin.

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In most circumstances I would not suggest dropping out of school for even a short period. Many people that do never end up finishing their degree. But this is an extreme situation. In this situation I would drop off for the one semester especially since it is such a high probability that he will be sent to Iraq where you could not be with him. Also, under the situation where he is in Iraq, you will need to keep yourself occupied so as not to spend all your time worrying-finishing up school would fit in perfectly. And like jespah states use a leave of absence rather than drop out. I am sure the school has some sort of arrangement for a leave of absence. Typically you need to return to school and finish your degree within a certain time limit.

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Joa--

In your present situation taking a semester off makes a lot of sense--providing you talk to your college/university and let them help you plan.
Most colleges will go out of their way to help students complete the requirements for a degree.

They might even be able to recommend a school near the military base which would offer credits they would accept.

Good luck. Hold your dominion.

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Wow, I really expected some negative responses because I too would normally be against telling anyone to take a small break. I come from a military background and know in A LOT of cases, most wives do not go back because they are constantly moving or just get in the "settled" state. Then they tell us when we get together how much they hate their husband inside for holding them back (that's how they see it at least).

All your responses mean a lot to me. Smile

I am praying on it. I don't want to disappoint my parents, his, or him. Sure, it was his idea, but I don't want to be weak or dependent. This is very hypocritical b/c I DO want to be a part-time or full-time stay-at-home MOM one day in the future, but that's still different to me. I feel I do my share in the house that makes him JUST as dependent on me.

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I'm in a tough perdictament

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