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Mon 18 Oct, 2004 01:26 pm
Funny how EVERYONE can tell you not to do something, but you MUST learn for yourself and go and do it...and fall flat on your face. Getting back together w/ the ex was a mistake of course...like EVERYONE told me, and I'm feeling it now. I'm starting to realize how mentally abusive he was to me...and now I'm in trouble. Everything I did was to hopefully make him love me...anything I did or said, was to make him love me. For instance, I got my hair cut the other day, so that maybe he'd like it, and like me more. Doing things for HIM did make me a better person, but it wasnt for me, and now I have NO MOTIVATION to do anything for myself. I am not me anymore, I havent been me in a long time...but now I dont have any motivation to be anyone. Does this make any sense? Please Help. I'm really hurt and lost right now.
Do something for yourself...run
I don't know what you would want any of us to say.
It makes sense but you hit the nail on the head, you did it all for him but did you really or were you merely seeking something to motivate you be carerful you not stuck in cycle that gets you doing things for the wrong reasons.
In other words find something healthy to motivate you this time don't get obsessed with some guy.
Well, I reread some of all our posts. Jespah said some important things about not basing your happiness so heavily on other people's reactions to you, way back about four threads ago.
A lot of people have already given opinions, you might reread them. From my view, you could handle this kind of situation better in the future if you develop real interest in yourself and your own opinions, in short, a stronger sense of self... such that you are happy in your own company. This may take some professional counselling...
Amanda, I think this is a really important breakthrough and I'm happy to see it. I think I recommended a while back that you be SINGLE for a while, and that holds true now, too. Being in a relationship seems really important to you, so if you need motivation, you can look at it as spending time on yourself and figuring out your own needs and how to meet them yourself will be a hugely important step towards being in a healthy partnership between equals down the line.
Sozobe just said the rest of what I meant to and should have said, that having a good sense of your self worth and your own needs is really helpful when you do get a good long time relationship going.
Spend a lot of time with friends. I'm assuming you've left the guy, and usually you want to be alone after a breakup, but that isn't very healthy. Go have fun.
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