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Mon 18 Oct, 2004 01:25 pm
Okay so, here I go being all dewy eyed and hopeful in my own sick way.
I met a guy a while ago (Call him V) now V and I get on really well in our sick little way that being; i can insult him and he insults me right back and vice a versa. Now this may sound strange but for me ragging at some one is just good fun as well as a test of character, which V has got in bucket loads, hence my unfaltering attraction for him despite the fact I haven't seen him in 11 months as he lives in once city and I another.
Now i mean it sincerely when i say i've never met anybody whom I understand as well as him, it's like that little light switch that goes on when you meet some one and there's that spark or flash. I never have to watch what i say around him I can just be, say and do no holds barred. However our relationship due to me being 18 and concerned about him being my brothers best friend at the time, never went beyond spending our time having intellectual banter by ourselves in a club while people danced, and insulting everyone in the room and laughing about it amongst each other.
Well there was the one time we hand a who can smoke the most bongs evening between each other which just developed into him laughing at me uncontrollably. But in general despite there always being a large number of friends around us when we were together it always felt like it was just me and him, whether in a club, on the beach; where ever;we would always be having our conversation while everybody had there's and in a way it's like that completeness i found just being around him made it like carnal pleasures were only secondary to his mind, wit and naughty as hell smile.
My point is do you think that I should pursue this further or let it go, do I tell some one who sends me things when i told him I got my drivers like "Now you a woman behind the wheel... A loser who couldn't drive was more preferable" how i feel or what? I'm finding it hard to let this one go. In a way I believe I will never let him go and do you think he hides behind his tough boy image? I mean I get "!@@# off and die" one second from him shortly followed by " I'm actually quite fond of you" in the next. Now what do I do, forget about him because of the distance or tell him how I feel, and you think it will make any difference?