Boyfriend is addicted to gaming

Just to clarify shysweetheart, do you mean gaming like gambling/casinos, or gaming like computer video games?

Also clarify: Are you paying all the bills?

shysweetheart03- Why would you want to live with someone who pays no attention to you? Sounds like he is addicted to gaming. Does HE work? Does he share in the house expenses?

Why in the world would you want to be with this man?

It's because I've heard Americans use 'gaming' to mean gambling that I was confused. I'll assume that you mean computer video games.

I've been hooked on games many times. There are many aspects to the addiction.

There is the pure entertainment - it passes the time in a way you find enjoyable.

There is also a degree of escapism. When most people play games, they are thinking of nothing other than the game. This is similar to alcohol and drug addiction in that respect. It helps you forget about your worries.

There is the physical (dexterity) challenge as well - when you spend 2 hours trying to get the character to perform a set of complicated moves where the timing of the controls needs to be accurate to split-seconds. You keep failing and the character keeps dying. Frustration should stop you, but you know that it must be possible, and feel inferior for not be able to do it. So you keep on trying, again and again, until you finally get it right. The longer the time it takes, the better the feeling once it goes right.

Also, there is the mental challenge of strategy and roleplaying games - pitting your intellect against the computer - which his no imagination but is about a trillion times better at maths and probability than you are. This becomes addictive in the same way as the physical challenges mentioned above.

(I'll finish in a short while, work calls)

HI, I had a similar experience but mine was with Internet porn. My husband works heaps and when he came home he'd spend hours on his computer so of course i got curious and looked there was porn everywhere. Because i didn't have the guts to say anything i wrote him a letter saying how i felt and what a sicko he was. I told him i was going to say at my mums for the night he rang as soon as he got home from work and read the letter. It was a bit slack but it worked , we disscused it and now things are better, i had to do something the lack of attention and the stress was killing me. I don't know if a letter would work for you but you definatly need to do something.

Good Luck KC

Kick his useless gaming ass out! I have seen so many of my bf's friends addicted to gaming, it's so important to them that they have to buy there kids snackable food that takes no effort to make, because he, the kid's only parent is too busy playing games. Addicted gamers are losers, you deserve much much better!

Please don't think that I am defending this guy and his habit, but I thought that if shysweetheart had some idea of why people become addicted to games, it might help them to resolve the matter better. Perhaps if you ask him why he thinks his 'real' life is so crap he needs escapism through games?

Or just dump him, which might save a lot of time and heartache.

Thank you to all who put in your 2 cents. I talked it over with him and explained how it hurt me when he spent all his time either online computer gaming or sleeping and it seemed we never get to spend any time together. I also told him when he plays a certain game called Joint Ops ( very interesting game, but also gets him in an angry mood because I think it reminds him of Iraq), the way he treats me when he is done is mean and I don't appreciate it. At first he said I was over reacting, but then after I explained a little further, He kind of realized it too and has been on his best behavior since. He no longer plays Joint Ops at night because it gets him all riled up and he doesn't want to come to bed, instead he plays a more mellow game and comes to bed earlier like I requested. He said he likes playing the game because it's fun and also gives him a sense of being in charge in a military way.
I honestly don't care if he goes online and games, hell I like to do it too sometimes. It's just when he does it all the time that drives me crazy. It seems like talking to him has helped and since he stopped playing that certain game at night, he is alot sweeter and more considerate of me and my feelings.