NEW AGE CORPORATE ACRONYMS

NEW AGE CORPORATE ACRONYMS

Here are some New Age Corporate and Investment acronyms:
CEO
chief embezzlement officer.
CFO
corporate fraud officer.
P/E
parole entitlement.
EPS
eventual prison sentence.
BULL MARKET
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a
financial genius.
BEAR MARKET
A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no
jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
MOMENTUM INVESTING
The fine art of buying high and selling low.
VALUE INVESTING
The art of buying low and selling lower
P/E RATIO
The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps
crashing.
BUY, BUY
A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the
plane.
STANDARD & POOR
Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST
Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
FINANCIAL PLANNER
A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for
toilet paper and cigarettes.
MARKET CORRECTION
The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW
The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
WINDOWS 2000
What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240
per share.
YAHOO
What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now
locked up long-term in a hospital.
PROFIT
A Religious guy who talks to God