To pre or not to pre (school, that is)?

Hi Janelle and welcome to A2K!

It is nice to hear from the "other side" in a way that supports my thinking! I am doing my best to savor it because it is over all too soon.

The kids that you care for are lucky indeed.

I think a lot of it depends on the child and the parent. My older daughter thrived in preschool, my younger one would have been just as happy here or there. I work at home so I had the option of taking them or not. Some kids have a difficult time around 3.5 being with mom all the time. For them preschool is a benefit because it lets them be around other adults as well as the kids. We ended up sending both our girls for 2 mornings/week when they were three and 4 mornings/week when they were four. I think it might have helped a bit as they started kindergarden to know a few of the kids beforehand.

Hiya,

Thought of this thread today. When sozlet started preschool, we had just moved here, we didn't know anyone, she missed her old friends, we'd just come through a really stressful period (moving) and her behavior wasn't awful but wasn't so great, either, and we were both really, really ready for preschool. It was just, chorus of angels, soft beautiful light, opulent bouquets of flowers, absolutely wonderful. It met all kinds of needs at once.

However, she just started BACK after a long break (~a month) and it's interesting to note the differences. You know the story about how when they started making vaccuum cleaners, they cleaned up a given amount of dirt more easily than before but housewives still spent just as much time cleaning because the vaccuum factory, belching out thick smoke, created more dirt? (Is there a phrase for that phenomenon? Like if Viagra gave men terrible acne so they'd be able to get it up but nobody would want to sleep with them -- the "cure" having a side effect that contributes to what is being attempted to be cured.)

Anyway, the first week or so of no preschool was bad, the second a little better, the third better yet, and by last week we'd settled into a nice routine -- she was doing a lot of stuff independently and seeming to like that, we would then get together for reading books or playing a game or another activity, then go back to doing our own things, lots of talking, just had things down pretty nicely.

Today she had preschool and since she's been a terror. She's acting out, she's screaming at me, she's not listening, she's saying everything is boring -- it's like when she gets 2.5 hours of non-stop interesting stuff, it spoils her for the more laid-back stuff we do.

This is all part of the picture, independence, yadda yadda, and I'm still generally very pro-preschool, but since I've been so unremittingly positive about it wanted to get that in too.

And of course that's not mentioning the health aspects... sigh.

Sozobe--

1. The Sozolet is a nice normal, loving courteous child who will not act out among strangers. She trusts you not to kill her for bad behavior.

2. Why do you assume that she's missing the laid-back, mother-daughter togetherness? My guess being a normal child with normal greed, she wants both.

3. Remember, she just found out that pre-school went on without her and all those kids have a piece of the past that she doesn't. Now what wonderful memories are you collecting for yourself while she's in preschool.

4. She can talk, she can sign--but even more she can feel with a passionate intensity. Of course she can't verbalize the comples of emotions, but she can let you know that the problem is complicated. At her age, when the Sozolet is jangled, she'll share jangled. You though microbes were infectious? You innocent!

5. This too shall pass.

6. There are 14 more days in the first half of winter.

Hold your dominion.

Good observations, all.

I'm not sure if I conveyed my point clearly, though -- the vaccuum bit was meant to convey that while preschool is supposed to be this nice break for me, in addition to all the good things imparted to sozlet, it actually carries its own stressors.

It's like, if I have 1 hour per day left completely alone by sozlet (while she draws or watches a video, say), and the rest of the time I'm at 75% mommy power if she doesn't go to preschool; and if I have 2 hours left completely alone by sozlet, and the rest of the time I'm at 90% mommy power if she does go -- which is less stressful? ("Mommy power" here means stuff like cleaning up messes, making sure she has food, listening to what she has to say -- anything that takes energy that I wouldn't do if she wasn't there.)

Hmm, that may have made it less rather than more clear.

Anyway, wanted to get my moment of preschool negativity down since I've said so much in the opposite direction. Today I think it had more to do with a change in routine than anything else.

And the next crisis won't look like this one.

I think psychologists call this "resource of self." That's how many decisions can one make in a day. How many resources do you have left after taking care of everything that is necessary.

It's definitely a balancing act, however. Cost-benefit analyses must be revisited from time to time.

On the other hand, studies show that pre-school is beneficial to children over 2 1/2. Some moms (I include stay-at-home dads) feel guilty about not spending that time with their kids, but it's not harmful to the kids. (I don't think they considered health effects, however.)

We are also considering montessori school for our youngest... The only problem we have come across is that the parent must be an active part of the education process or the child could quickly fall behind...
we are thinking perhaps a combo of montessori in the morning and homeschooling in the afternoon... he is a very social child however and I believe that regular school would be a good option... unfortunately the curriculum is lacking, as is proper supervision (ratio between students and teacher is inadequate imho)...
so really, we are at a loss ourselves, but are, at the moment, leaning towards montessori and homeschooling