To pre or not to pre (school, that is)?

Boomerang - I am kind of in the middle as I work, but my parents take care of my little ones. Although it was not necessary from a care perspective to have my child in daycare or preschool, once she was 4 Pre-K age we decided to send to Pre-K a couple of days a week. We felt it help her have the opportunity to learn socialization skills with other children her age and the beginning of academics. It also gave her the opportunity to have a more structured environment and to get used to some one other than family taking care of her. I did not want it to be a shock for her or be as nervous when first entering kindergarten as I feel this is where the first full structure of learning starts.

However, if your child does get the opportunity to be around a lot of other children, I do not think it is as important to go to Pre-K. Also, if your child is not as shy or has the opportunity to be cared for and around more adults. My daughter was a little clingy to me and my mom so I thought this would be a good step for her. Honestly I think it depends on the child and parents and what they want for their child. For my daughter, Pre-K definitely has helped her be better prepared for kindergarten and even other activities. She had no problem (although quiet) quickly becoming part of her kindergarten class - she has made many friends and loves it. In dance class and in T-ball, you can definitely tell the difference between the children that have attended some sort of preschool. They seemed better at paying attention and having a structured class.

Home schoolling probably results from a parent's assessment of the quality of the local schools. I would probably make the same assessment of the preschooling available.

For what it's worth, my sister was in exactly the right age group to miss out on kindergarten. She did quite well without it, so I don't see a kid as being deprived of anything valuable by missing preschool.

i think pre-school could be important so that kids learn to socialize, share, etc....I didn't go to pre-school though and I am a social butterfly!

Hiya! :-D

I think a lot depends on what you have going on without preschool, and the kid's personality. If we lived in a neighborhood where I could kick sozlet out the door at any given time and she would go play with neighborhood kids, I wouldn't be too concerned about preschool. But we don't -- it's a kid wasteland until 6 on weekdays, and then the two available kids are busy with dinner and parent time.

Sozlet is intensely social, is much much happier when she has regular interaction with other kids. So that's my main motivation for preschool. She absolutely loves it.

This preschool is very laid-back, play-oriented. I asked around as part of my research and it was disparaged by one person I talked to as not having enough "structure". This mom wants her kids TAUGHT how to read and write and such... in preschool. I think that's silly. I don't think pushing it at such an early age accompishes anything good. Sozlet's teachers encourage her creativity and let her do what she wants, which has included reading/ writing stuff, but instigated by her. (She came home on Wednesday with a letter to us in an envelope, for example.) (Just "Mama" and "Papa", but still.)

At any rate, I think the value of preschool is a) socializing and b) having FUN in a school setting, to reinforce the idea that education is a good thing and that going to school is fun.

I agree with sozobe when I was speaking of structure, I did not mean like learning to read, etc., but more this is how we behave with other children, this is free time play, this is painting time, snack time, outside time, etc. They sort of get the feel of how a day at school is structure without the school work in a sense. At this age, play is how children learn.

Oh, sorry if that came out as a commentary on what you'd said, Linkat, not how it was meant at all. I agree that the general structure is a useful thing, just getting used to how school works as a general concept. Was reacting to what this mom was saying about "all they do is, like, PLAY!" Well, yeah! One other thing I like though is that they go into the theoretical basis of the educational importance of play -- Vygotsky et al.

(Sozlet loves your avatar!)

I really believe it depends on the child. My daughter, bright, thoughtful and quiet was home with me other than a half day preschool at the age of 4. That was just becasue a couple of her playmates were going and she would get to do some fun stuff with them.

My son... Whole other ballgame! Bright, inquisitive, into EVERYTHING!!! Once sister started school, I had him all to myself. We baked, painted, built stuff, played with tools, and read more than I had read my entire life. But, there was only so much i could do to keep him occupied and his little fingers out of the outlets!

He THRIVED in preschool. Found one that was acedemic based rather than just play and social. He did a report on George Washington at 4. Not for a second was he afraid of speaking in front of the class. Was reading, doing addition, and learning his states before kindergarten. Still demanded to know more even when he got home.

That would have been way too stressful / demanding of our daughter. She is just as bright, but would have rebelled against the demand. Heck, she rebelled when she found out she wouldn't get a nap in first grade! She just doesn't have the same driving force as our son.

You know your child best. I think it depends on what the child is indicating they need or want when there is a choice.

Hi everybody and thank you for your input.

What I'm hearing IN here is much like what I hear OUT here! That the kids really enjoy it and that it helps build social skills.

Mo is already pretty social, he has a lot of neighborhood friends but more importantly he is able to integrate himself into groups of kids at the various playgounds we visit. Still, he clearly prefers my company over others.

Interestingly enough, it is most likely his inconsistent parents and other random family that make his so easy going socially.

I really worry about structure.

Following our whims usually lead to our most intereseting discoveries and memorable days. Its the fear of structure that has really held me back from enrolling him.

I've checked out a lot of schools and there are two in my area that I'm considereing. One is an Reggio Emilia school and the other is a Montessori school. Both methods have that kind of free form, no pressure, exploratory enviornment that I like.

Roger, you make a very good point about assessing the quality of learning at every stage and I think that is another point I'm dealing with. Mo and I play together all day long and I can see what he's learning. His favorite thing is to be outside, somedays we don't set foot in the house, I know he couldn't do that in preschool.

And, of course, I have to examine my own selfishness about "Mo time". Before we gained legal custody of him there was always the threat that one of his parents would reappear and claim him so I just wanted to indulge us in the time we could spend together. Now that we do have custody that threat is removed but our habits are set and we enjoy our lollygagging lifestyle.

Maybe I'm the one who needs preschool to work on my social skills and structure!

By the way, it's not so much that sozlet needs work on her social skills as that she needs interaction.

That's the overriding thing, she really likes to spend time with other kids. She prefers me, of course, but she also really likes other kids.

No reason to force it, if you and he are happy with how things are.

When my daughter was 4 years old, she entered Pre-K
(Montessori) and she loved it. She happens to be also
a social butterfly and needs an audience around her and
at pick-up time, I caught her many times pontificating
to her peers

boomerang, Montessoris work everywhere the same and
their schedule is as flexible as yours, so if you have
Mo in Pre-K for 2 hours a couple of times a week, he'll
benefit from it already.

That's how I startet out and by the end of Pre-K, she
wanted to stay until closing time

One thing about Montessori is that for some reason the one I looked at here didn't have any schedule flexibility. It HAD to be five days a week, half days (and cost accordingly.) I didn't want to spend that much and didn't have the need for sozlet to be occupied that often, so that ruled out Montessori for me.

But other people have told me their Montessori is more flexible, and I've definitely heard good things about the school. The one that sozlet goes to has a very similar philosophy -- learning through play. It has all of these different stations, a book corner, a puzzle area, a painting area, a sensory table (sand or water or corn or various materials), a dressup area (big hit), a kitchen area, and a ton of toys. Then also regular reading time and singing time.

Really quite happy with it. (Sigh of relief, cause I had to do the research from afar.)

If Montessori is on the 'possible' list, I'd recommend checking the specific qualifications of the instructors at your particular facility. They vary considerably - and not always in the 'variety and flexibility is good' way.

Having read some of your sozlet stories I have no doubt but that child could teach social skills! Your comments means a lot soz, because I know how devoted you are to her.

(I'm sure everyone else here is devoted to their child too. I've just nagged sozs for advice for so long that I really know where she's coming from and I know how similar it is to the place I'm coming from.)

I am really partial to the Montessori school, plus, they play in the same park Mo and I do so I've come to know most of the teachers there. Also, the only fully accredited Montessori K-8 (The Franciscian Earth School) in the country is located in our city. Mr. B. and I would love to find a way to financially swing sending Mo there since it is supposed to be just flat out unbelievably fantastically worth every single cent.

I'm a big believer in the Montessori method. Partly for the flexibility that Calamity Jane mentions. Your child's experience is very similar to what I've heard from other "Montessori moms".

But the Reggio Emilia school is cool too. Mo's best buddies (our neighbor's sons) go to school there. It is a parent participatory co-op, which I guess almost all Reggio schools are, but its kind of neat. And the cost can't be beat, even when you include the volunteer days.

Thank you all so much for your comments.

I can kind of feel myself shifting to being more agreeable to preschool.

Hi eBeth - you're absolutely right. Good advice.

Boomerang--

Pre-whatever is extra--a plus on the elevated base line that you are providing..

Back in the '60's when I was a penny-pinching parent I used to have fruitless discussion with other women in the Riverside Park l03'rd St. Sandbox.

They would brag about their children's educational experience in fingerpainting. Big whoop. I provided fingerpainting on my kitchen table.

I never had much use for Princess Di, but one of the very sensible things that she said (as a retired nursery school teacher about her own sons) was that pre-school kids are focused on basicsl; that kids learn to deal with kids before titles get in the way.

Little Mo is juggling at least two worlds--and giving him a Guaranteed Referee Situation might be helpful down the road.

Thats a very good point, Noddy.

I worry a bit about adding yet another dimension to juggle but the fact is that he will eventually go to school no matter what. Perhaps it would be best to give him a bit of a head start on it.... just in case.

Your sandbox dialogues were probably very similar to the conversations I have with other mothers, and maybe my mom even had those conversations with other moms!

I also looked at Montessori and the ones around me we not flexible at all. The expected you to adhere to their schedule and they were very expensive. I had heard mixed feelings from parents whose children attended - some loved it, some thought it was the biggest waste of money. I suggest you fully check out any school you are considering and make sure not only does it meet your expectations for schedule, and cost, but your thoughts on what the children should be learning, the type of teachers, teacher to student ratio, etc. Also check your local Office of Care Child, they are a wealth of information. I even spoke to the representative that visited the school my daughter eventually went to-I believe unless exempt they need to be registered with this organization and they will give you a full report on the school.

Boomerang - I just noticed your additional post. Please do not discount the outside thing with preschool. I actually visited one where they had a huge outside area with nature trail. Similar to indoors where you have different areas set up to teach different skills, they had the same philosophy for outdoors play/learning. They preferred to have the children outdoors and kept them outside as much as possible. So if you search around you may find a school that meets both your child's and your preferences. Basically if you want to send your child to preschool, search around and visit the schools, you may be pleasantly surprised.

Hi! I am new here, but feel compelled to reply as I am involved with children on a daily basis. I run a home day care from my home.

I truly believe everyday of a child's life is "preschool." They don't need a lesson plan to learn, they need positive relationships with adults who interact with them. That's what I do. All my three year olds right now know how to write their names and they are learning phonics. I don't run a preschool, I just experience life with them while they are here. We have FUN!!

A child doesn't need to go to daycare to experience this, either. Mom can do just as good a job. This time is SO precious and short-lived with your little one! Savor it!! Enjoy it!! Soon they will be in school for over 12 years!

I am NOT putting down preschool by any means! However, I just think it doesn't have to a NECESSARY part of a young child's life.

Thanks!

Janelle