LITTLE FUNNIES

Senior Citizen Conversations. . .
Three old guys out walking. First one says. "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday."
Third one says. "So am I. Let's go get a beer"


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WHY MEN ARE NOT SECRETARIES ...
Husband's note on the fridge to his wife:
Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.
I didn't know you liked beer.

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A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".


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I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help? I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door UN-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."


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Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

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Hooker
A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
"Twenty bucks," she says. He'd never been with a hooker before, but he
decides what the hell it's only twenty bucks.
They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on
them - it's a police officer.
"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.
"I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly. "Oh, I'm
sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."
"Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her
face."

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A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing-eye dog one day.
They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume
of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into
the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns
blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on
the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of
his coat pocket, which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed
the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the
blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He
nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out
where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

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