Sun 1 Jan, 2017 12:22 am
I have been married for 3 years, we are a young couple I am 22 years old. And ever since we got married like 3 months after we got into a huge argument and he yelled at me and hit me for the first time, he slapped me, I was in complete and utter shock that I grabbed my purse and ran out the door and took a very long walk to the park and cried for hours, I came back home and he wasn't there and an hour or so later he walked in through the door crying begging me for his forgiveness and that he will never do this to me again and that he is so sorry. I can't deny that I love him because I love him very dearly, and yes we have differences, but I think every relationship does right? There are times that we argue every day or sometimes its a few months before we argue again, but a lot of the times when we argue he gets very angry and hits me, its like he is a completely different person and begs me to forgive him, that he will change cries to me and hugs me and seeing him like that breaks me down and of course I forgive him, but after a few years of this I am starting to get tired of it in a way but I still love him, but now even when we play around(and I mean we tickle eachother or something like that) and he gets tired of playing around he hits me on my mouth or something telling me to stop. I don't know if I should leave him or if I stay and see if he is actually going to change. Yes there have been times, when I say I am going to leave him and I pack my thing but I don't have the will I break down and cry because I love him so deeply and I am afraid that if I leave him he will hurt himself or worse kill himself. I don't know what to do honestly. I need honest opinions of other people to help me.
Research narcissistic personality disorder. NPD.
Sounds like a classic case. If you can convince him that he has this disorder, you might be able to save your relationship.
Nobody should put up with violence from their partner, no matter what the excuse. He's disturbed mentally.
You know he's not going to stop, right?
Are you waiting for him to put you in the hospital, or worse?
He is probably not going to change.
I wonder, if what you call love, is not more like submissivesness.
You believe him, when he says, he going to change and he loves you and all that.
So far nothing has changed. If you would start asking him to go to therapy he would probably blame everything on you and tell you to see a therapist.
He has a personality disorder. He can't change by himself. You could wind up in the hospital or dead. Is that what you want?
I’m sorry about your situation. Please get help, immediately. Physical abuse should not be tolerated and you’ll definitely need to set clear boundaries with your husband. I would strongly suggest that you seek the help of a counselor and surround yourself with loved ones who can protect and support you at this time. Also, encourage your husband to get help for his anger issues. You take good care of yourself, okay?
I just want to say to anybody who reads this and leaves a comment, Ive started to go to therapy with him, and yes people who say that he wont change are right, I have started to go through with the divorce process and move out, because the other day he gave me a black eye and that was my limit, its just the hard part for me is that I am pregnant, but I rather be a single mother than put my child at risk, and I will beg him to continue with therapy so one day he can see his child, and that he can have a better life I hope.
Do the best you can for yourself and your child.